Matty G. gets saucy this week.


Diver: Matty G from 4CRS
Interesting Fact: If it’s Day 3 of a river trip, and you don’t know who the asshole is, it’s probably you.

Dear Diver,
So, I just got off a river trip with a friend of mine. I had never been on a trip with him and discovered he is a total a-hole! (Didn’t help at the take-out, brought shitty food for his meal, didn’t share his beer, was super anal and didn’t want to stop along the way and go for hikes or goof around – the list goes on.) I had never really seen this behavior in him before – on dryland he is pretty easy going and fun – so was naturally shocked. Do you think this is just a “river thing’ with him, or is it a red flag that I should write him off?
– T.L.
Dear T.L.
The question here is why, as T.L., are you relying on your buddy for beer and meals? Sounds like you’re running a bit of a loose ship, which may explain his anal tendencies. Besides, hiking just takes away from serious beer drinking time. Work on honing your inner river rat, and everything will work itself out in the long run. 
– Diver
Dear Diver,
The other day I saw a conspicuous white van driving around and on the side it had the City of Durango emblem and the words “information systems” written on it. What exactly are “information systems?” Is this just a euphemism for “citizen surveillance vehicle?”
– Little Brother
Dear Little Bro,
No idea. I had a bad experience with a white van when I was younger, so I try not to think about them. Coincidently, I no longer like candy.
–  Diver
Dear Diver,
I drink a lot of wine and was recently thinking about going the box route to save a little money. While it makes sense from an economic standpoint, I am worried it could lead to unfettered binge drinking, as it’s pretty impossible to see inside the box and monitor my intake. Am I being practical or it is just a one-way ticket to Betty Ford?
–  Overserved
Dear Wino,
As long as you slap the bag, it’s all good. Just make sure you caress it first.
– Diver

– Caught in a sticky situation?

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