This Week's Sign of the Downfall of Civilization

Love doughnuts but hate all that pesky chewing? Homer Simpsons of the world can now rejoice in getting their deep-fried dough in liquid form thanks to Cheerwine’s new Krispy Kreme cherry cola. Unfortunately, the dental sugar bath, which is said to taste like a glazed donut in pureed form, is thus far only available in the Deep South.