Ear to the ground:

“It’s not like I’m going to the Ranch like in my 20s. This is strategic sluttery.”
– Local thirstysomething discussing a more mature rebound strategy

Waitin on Peyton

We may still not have Denver TV, but the Denver Broncos are slated to make an appearance in Buckley Park this Friday, from 5-6:30 p.m. However, which members of the 2016 Super Bowl championship team will be on hand is under wraps tighter than an Ace bandage on Peyton Manning’s throwing arm.

“We always want to protect our players,” said Broncos marketing guru Scott Lantis as to the secrecy. “In case they can’t commit because of family or obligations, we don’t want to put them in a bad light.” And in case you were wondering – as we were – if they can just give us a teensy clue, the answer is negatory. “No. We cannot give initials,” he added.

What we do know is local fans can expect to get up close and personal – or at least within iphone camera range – to Broncos cheerleaders, players, alumni and Miles the Mascot (a furry, muscle-y half-man half-horse, which may or may not be disturbing to young children. But not as creepy as the demon horse at DIA.) They can also ogle the one-of-a-kind Bronco RV.

“We’re traveling in style,” said Lantis.

This year, the tour – which takes place every year – is focusing on the southern part of the state, oft neglected by Denver airwaves and pro sports celebrities. Our burg kicks off this year’s tour, which also has stops in Montrose, Salida, La Junta and either Eagle or Castle Rock – depending on who gets the most votes.

Hot to trot

Speaking of pro athletes, there’s one area where Durango is not lacking – that of extreme runners and badass outdoors masochists.

Arguably the captain of the team is Jason Schlarb (see the March 31 Telegraph) who last week not only finished the beyond-epic Marathon des Sables, but did so in second place.

Coined the “toughest footrace on earth,” the MDS – which took off April 7 – includes six marathons over six days through the Moroccan deserts. As in Sahara, the hottest place on earth, where temps hit 122 in the shade, if there was any. Oh, and did we mention, runners must carry a week’s worth of gear and food. Uphill. Both ways.

Schlarb, 37, was running with Team I Run for Hope, a team brought together by U.S. ultrarunner Linda Sanders as a part of her organization Hope So Bright, which works to raise awareness of ADHD. The team took second place just behind the Moroccan team, TGCC.

As far as individual times go, Schlarb finished 12th (first among Americans), covering the 150-mile course in 24 hours, 58 minutes.

Schlarb, who first came to prominence running for Montana State in Bozeman, Mont., was the highest placed U.S. athlete.