Ear to the ground:

“It’s been three days and my husband hasn’t said anything. He either hates it or hasn’t noticed.”

– Local woman discussing the several inches of hair she had cut off

Playing with your food

Has the family Thanksgiving become a little too predictable? Someone will eat too much; someone will drink too much; something will get burned or forgotten; and someone will inevitably bring up religion or politics.

Why not turn the anxiety associated with such large holiday gatherings into fun for the whole family? That’s right, we’re talking Thanksgiving Bingo, easily played with pennies from Grandma’s purse, dried out remnants of turkey or that burned out stuffing left for dead in the oven. (It can also easily be turned into a drinking game for those all-adult “friendsgivings.” Just substitute craft beer bottle caps for pennies.)

Depending on one’s level of creativity and motivation (we’ll guess nil the day before Thanksgiving), you can either craft your own card or download your pick of several from the internet. One of our faves comes from the good Midwesterners at the Akron, Ohio, Beacon Journal (www.ohio.com), who undoubtedly have seen their fair share of heartland, Rockwellian holidays gone horribly, horribly, wrong. Among the classic Turkey Day scenarios that can win you a bingo chip are: standard bodily functions (farting, burping, puking, toilet clogs and the like);  dinner table faux pas (“when are you two going to get married/have children?” “Is this vegan?”; and basic party fouls (spilling red wine on the carpet, spilling red wine on the antique tablecloth, spilling red wine down your dress, running out of red wine.)

Or better yet, why limit yourself? Download the empty card and fill in your own disastrous shenanigans. Then see how long it takes to get five in a row. We’re guessing it will be well before dessert. And let the winner have the wishbone.

Wheel of misfortune

Seems Durango has once again gained national exposure. Sort of. Monday night’s “Wheel of Fortune” featured “Durango Colorado” as one of its puzzles. (This information comes to use courtesy a friend on the East Coast who, apparently, has no life. We’ll just take his word for it, since we haven’t watched the show since Pat and Vana sobered up. Plus, he sent us pictures from his phone, so we know it’s real.)

Only problem, the giant picture splashed in the background looked suspiciously like Moab. Perhaps tourists will be so occupied with our plethora of “recreational” opportunities, they won’t notice.