Collin ditches his corduroy britches so you can dig his chili.

Diver: Collin O’Brien
Interesting fact: I have the sweetest snow pants. Seriously, they are made of corduroy.

Dear Diver,
I just found out that my 1999 Subaru needs a new clutch, which is going to set me back about $800. I’m not even sure if the car’s worth that much. But then again, she’s been a faithful steed all these years and with only 130k miles, I think she’s still got some good miles left on her. Question: does it make sense to fix her up and try to sell her? Is anyone out there going to buy an old jalopy? Or should I just rip off the plates and ditch it off a cliff somewhere (I heard Red Mountain’s good for that.)
– Stuck in Neutral

Dear Stuck,
Whatever you do, you gotta do it quick. El Niño is on its way and there is going to be so much gnar. You have to get to the mountains! Since this is America, I recommend sending her off the cliff with a full tank of gas and some lit flares. Definitely let me know when you do this. Then get a loan and buy the largest truck you’re allowed to. That will get you to the slopes and take up two parking spaces so there will be one less skier on the hill. If all else fails, we can crash your Subaru into my $500 van and then go halfsies on some $1,300 beauty.
– Stuck in 5th 


Dear Diver,
For some reason, every year, my extended family expects me to host and prepare the family Thanksgiving. Meanwhile, they sit around and watch football and pester me about “when dinner’s going to be ready.” And of course, no one ever so much as even lifts a finger to help me clean up. It’s like I’m a slave in my own home! Well, guess what? I’ve had enough! How do I gently suggest that it’s someone else’s turn to step up to the plate? Or should I conveniently plan to be out of town this year?

– Talking Turkey 

Dear Turkey,
Lucky for you, Purgatory will be open for Thanksgiving so you can just go skiing. There will only be like one run open with lots of people going different speeds on it, but that still sounds better than Thanksgiving at your house. Just order some take-out for the family to keep them happy and then go take your chances on the white ribbon of death. Skiing is something to be thankful for!
– Skiing Turkey


Dear Diver,
I think I am in love with my co-worker. I am pretty sure he is interested in me, but he is a few years older, so I don’t want to be too forward. We both work at a restaurant - are there any ways I can subtly let him know I’m “digging his chili” without coming off as stalkerish?
– Night Shift

Dear Chili Lady,
Digging his chili?? That is something only a stalker would say. You two obviously need some time apart. You should quit your job and go skiing. Once you’ve developed some sweet skills, no guy will be able to resist you. Of course that’ll include me too, so this other guy better watch out. Everybody knows chairlifts are the place to pick-up the ladies, or to better put it, chairlifts are the place to tell the ladies that I’m digging their chili.
– Now I’m Hungry

In a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the In-Sinkerator. The diver has the solutions to life’s little messes. Send your problems to, “Ask the Diver:"
- 1309 E. Third Ave., Room 3 Durango, CO, 81301
- fax (970) 259-0488