Guy, with Durango Bad Apples, prepares to take flight.

Diver: Guy w/Durango Bad Apples Cell Phone and Tablet Repair
Interesting facts: Katy Perry’s halftime performance included a giant gold lion, and the eye of a tiger. Although she is a Scorpio born under the Chinese zodiac year of the rat

 
Dear Diver,
What ever happened to the good old days when going outside all you had to choose from was “pile,” “polypro” or a “jacket?” Now it’s gone all high-tech, with terms like “soft shell,” “hardshell,” “powerstretch,” “performance,”“thermaclime,” “windstopper,” “ultralight”  and, my personal favorite, “nano-Air.” I feel like walking into the gear shop has become a mind-boggling experience. Please, Diver, help me decode all these great mysteries of technical outerwear lest I get soaked.
– Cloudy Skies

Dearest Cloudy,
I know, I know. They did the same thing with condoms. Used to just be a “rain coat,” now it’s ribbed, non-ribbed, lubricated, lamb skin, male and even FEMALE condoms?! Standardized testing is about to start allowing the use of non-No. 2 pencils, it’s crazy town! All this in the name of progress, right? Did you know they even have different types of Bibles!? Keep asking questions and I am sure you will be fine.
– King James Virgin

Dear Diver,
Well, after months of build-up, costume-making, float-building and liver-prepping, another Snowdown has come and gone. I can’t help but go into a deep, dark funk every year at this time - Snowdown is like my Christmas, birthday and the Super Bowl all rolled into one. Now, what is there to look forward to? Valentine’s? Mardi Gras? Boring. Please, diver, give me some tips for getting over my Post-Traumatic Snowdown Depression.
– Folly Phil

Dear Folly,
Months preparing? I didn’t have a costume until last Weds! Just because the scheduled and sanctioned events are all done, does not mean the fun has to end! Gather a group and start your own golf tournament pub crawl, take on the cold with friends at the river for your own “polar plunge,” the possibilities are endless. Just ask yourself and your accomplices, err friends, “what is tonight’s theme going to be?” After all, this is Durango.
– Don’t Stop Believing

Dear Diver,
That fog we had a few weeks back seemed very strange, almost spooky – in my 45 years here, I have never seen anything like it. Which has me wondering. Is the “fog” not fog at all, but a diabolical government conspiracy aimed at mind control? How do I protect myself, not to mention my priceless collection of rare asteroids, which I’m sure they’re after.
– Bunker Bill

Dear Bill,
Fear not anything in the fog or shadows as you walk your path through the valley of Hermosa ... besides, the fog was a combination of moisture from Pinkerton Hot Springs and ash from people burning X-mas trees in dumpsters. Always call non-emergency dispatch before brandishing flames in public view, or risk tickets/fines from emergency responders. Prepare a few words to dedicate the moment, otherwise it’s just the crackle of pine and awkward silence. Oh, and a foil hat on your head will help other locals to know that you’re off your medicinals. Or on them?
– Suspiciously,
Diver