Ear to the ground:

”I’m just not into jazz, smooth or otherwise.”
– Recent neighborly discussion on musical preferences

Drink this

Like Paul Rudd, Betty White and Ice Cube, the Animas River has caught the attention of a certain television host, perhaps because its alarming color matched his famous hair.

Last week, during his eponymous late-night show, Conan O’Brien spoofed the recent Gold King mine disaster – and the radster crowd in general – with a skit on how one local company is taking extreme to a whole new level.

During his opening monologue, Conan introduced a 2-minute segment on the “Colorado Natural Disaster Ultimate River Rapids Extreme Kayaking Adrenaladventure Tours, LLC.”

The mock ad opens with a booming monster-truck voice challenging all would-be thrill-seekers. “You’ve boofed 50-foot waterfalls without breaking a sweat, you shoot the gnarliest rapids with one (body part omitted for sensitive readers) tied behind your back. But have you ever kayaked in a river that is literally trying to kill you?”

The ad goes on to tout the 30 miles of “arsenic-laced mustard-colored doom juice,” complete with the now infamous images of our orange river as it snakes its way through the Animas Valley. And if that’s not enough excitement, there’s also mutated wildlife to contend with, including “giant minnows, lava turtles and frogs with human feet.” But perhaps scariest of all is the team of lawyers adventurers must sign their lives away with before embarking on the adventure.

“Thanks to a wicked assist from the EPA, Colorado’s Animas River is now pure liquid poison and yours for the taking, bro,” continues the announcer. “It’s a wet and wild adventure you’ll never forget, just ask one of our satisfied customers,” he continues as the camera pans over gravestones.

“I’d do that,” quips Conan.

To watch the full video, visit www.teamcoco.com.

Bearing down

County residents dealing with large, unwanted furry visitors need not just grin and bear it. Next Wed., Sept. 2, the Bear Working Group is holding a public forum from 5:30 - 8 p.m. at the La Plata County Fairgrounds.  “Working Together to Reduce Human-Bear Conflict in La Plata County,”  is meant to bring together folks to focus on human-bear conflicts in the county. There will be a panel discussion featuring noted local bear experts followed by small break-out sessions. The forum is specifically addressing issues outside of the City of Durango.

And if you happen to arrive hungry as a bear, not to worry – pizza will be provided for a suggested donation of $2.