Pancho Paradox is outstanding in his field.

Diver: Pancho Paradox
Interesting Facts: A 10-gallon hat will only hold 3/4 of a gallon.
 

Dear Diver,
I’ve recently begun taking kickboxing classes, which I love. The only problem is that now I really, really want to fight everybody who I interact with. It’s not that I’m angry- I just want to show off my badass new skills. If I don’t find a way to channel this weird energy, I’m going to accidentally uppercut the coffee guy or impulsively roundhouse kick one of my coworkers in the face.
– Kicking and Screaming

Dear Kicking and Screaming,
Simmer down Bethe Correia. You never know just how tough someone is until you throw that first punch. It’s embarrassing to walk away defeated. Although I’m betting Doug in accounting needs a swift kick to boost productivity, your employer may not appreciate this. If you feel the necessity to flaunt your skills, perhaps a sport that is less confrontational would be ideal. Have you considered bog snorkelling? Also, since Snowdown is just around the corner, now may be a good time to begin training for the bed races.
– Sincerely, Rousey Fan for Life

Dear Diver,
My friends never invite me out anymore because every time I tag along it rains, and every time they go without me the weather is beautiful. I don’t understand it, but I think I might be cursed. Right now moving to Seattle looks very tempting. Help, my friends are dropping like flies!
– Dwindling Social Calendar

Dear Dwindling Social Calendar,
I hate to rain on your parade but if your friends think you are cursed, it’s time to get new friends. Begin by looking in drought-stricken California or Texas. This change of scenery may be hard to deal with, but anyone you hang out with is going to love the rain you bring. Maybe you can find friends all over the world. Just don’t forget to visit Southwest Colorado every now and again. We will all thank you!
– Praying for Rain

Dear Diver,
My mom is pregnant, and I’m super excited to have a little sister. But she got these awful cheesy maternity portraits taken and has framed them all around the house. Now as I eat breakfast I have to look at weird pictures of sunsets and basketballs painted on my mom’s swollen bare stomach. Pregnancy is beautiful and everything, but how do I ask my mom to take them down? I will never be able to have friends over.
– Big Brother-to-Be

Big Brother-To-Be,
It could be worse. She could have the same portraits hanging around the house from when you were in utero. It would be even worse if you were 35 and lived at home. Of course, more than likely the friends that did come over would understand. Let’s get to the point. You mom is more than excited to be expecting. My best advice is to buy a photography package for her once your sister is born. The house would look much better decorated with photos of your newborn sister. There is a great photography studio in the same building as that yoga studio, dispensary and coffee shop.
– Sincerely, Picture This