The beer nazi and Rhythms on the Rio
 

by Chris Aaland

I’m a big fan of beer festivals. While I’ve retired from a 12-year professional drinking career in search of hops greatness that saw me put 35 bricks on the wall of Lady Falconburgh’s, I still fancy the occasional day in which I can sample the best of the burgeoning craft beer world. And the time of the year in which we seemingly have one beerfest after another from late August through the end of September is damned near upon us.

But wine tastings? That’s another beast altogether. I’m a beer drinker, not a wine snob. And while I enjoy an occasional cabernet sauvignon or merlot with a steak dinner, I’m certainly not an expert.

Last weekend’s Telluride Jazz Festival presented a short wine tasting in between bands and cloudbursts on Saturday afternoon. For a relatively small festival – approximately 2,000 attendees braved the weather – the organizers pulled out all the stops, with a handful of vintners, cheese, crackers and grapes to accompany tastings, even a pretty little 4-oz., commemorative tasting glass.

The Travelin’ McCourys travel to South Fork this weekend for Rhythms on the Rio.

But the crowd was different from the typical horde o’ hippies that attends other T-Ride festers. Imagine hundreds of sixty- and seventysomethings wearing their finest golf shirts and khaki shorts. After waiting in line for your tasting glass, you proceeded to six stations under a white tent to sip mid-range vinos. Whereas the beer crowd is accustomed to requesting their short pour and stepping aside, the little old ladies didn’t move out of line after sampling their first taste. Instead, they’d sniff, sip and – if they disliked the particular variety – spit it out and request another. One grandma worked her way through the entire batch of varieties at each station, wasting nearly 10 minutes of the lives of everyone behind her. For shame!

So here’s a simple rule, all you winos and beer guzzlers. It’s like the Soup Nazi episode of “Seinfeld” … When making your order: 1) be clear and concise; 2) make limited eye contact with the server; 3) make even less conversation other than “thank-you” and 4) step aside and let the next guy order. Otherwise, you’ll be banished to another line where you’ll shill out $8 for a plastic glass of the house wine.

Another weekend, another festival. This time around, it’s Rhythms on the Rio in South Fork, which takes place Aug. 7-9. Headliners this year include the Travelin’ McCourys with Bill Nershi of String Cheese Incident, the New Orleans Suspects, Hot Buttered Rum String Band and Euforquestra … spanning the globe from bluegrass and newgrass to funk and R&B. The Travelin’ McCourys are essentially the Del McCoury Band minus Del. They’ve worked with a variety of guitarists/vocalists through the years, including Keller Williams, Larry Keel and, most recently, Nershi. The Suspects played KSUT’s Party in the Park two years ago and feature former members of the Radiators, the Neville Brothers, the Dirty Dozen Brass Band and the James Brown Band. And Hot Buttered Rum is a crowd favorite throughout the Rockies, performing old-time, traditional bluegrass and folk numbers.

An extra highlight for Durango fans is the late night stage, which features favorite sons the Scrugglers hosting late-night jams on Friday and Saturday. The whole shindig costs $60 per person and includes camping while raising money for youth music education through the South Fork Music Association.

Bluegrass fans are in for an extra-special treat Monday night when Chris Henry is joined by Jimmy Largent at the Balcony. Henry, whose resume includes stints in the Peter Rowan Bluegrass Band and Shawn Camp’s touring outfit, has been called “the premier Monroe-style mandolinist of his generation” by the International Bluegrass Music Association. Rowan simply calls him “a bright young star in bluegrass music.” Henry also fronts his own band, the Hardcore Grass, chosen as the California Bluegrass Association’s Emerging Artist of the Year. Largent, of course, is a well-known local bassist and former member of the Badly Bent.

The Appleseed Collective brings real Americana to Crash Music at the Historic Aztec Theatre at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday. Think of them in terms of a mathematical equation, albeit a musical one: Satch plus Django plus Joplin plus Bob Wills plus a little Bill Monroe, but the sum is actually greater than the parts. Formed in 2010, the Appleseed Collective has become a force of nature. Each part of the Collective brings something different. Guitarist Andrew Brown is the son of a Motown session musician and was exposed to pre-World War II jazz on a trip to New Orleans. Violinist, mandolinist and improv magician Brandon Smith grew up playing old-time fiddle tunes. Multi-percussionist Vince Russo, blends funk, mass and rock on the washboard. Bassist Eric Dawe comes from a mixed background of choral singing and Indian classical music studies. The whole thing comes together on their latest record, “Live at the Ark,” recorded in their hometown of Ann Arbor, Mich.

Firkin Friday takes a trip to the Far East with ThaiPA, which gets tapped at 3 p.m. Friday at Steamworks. “Think the spices of India and Thailand blended with our IPA,” said brewmaster Ken Martin. “We start with an unfiltered citrus IPA base and infuse it with a green curry paste. The resulting beer will have notes of roasted coconut, garlic and citrus, though the curry will be the dominant flavor.” Think it won’t work? “It almost seems like a flavorful East Asian meal in a glass,” said brewer Spencer Roper. “Rich flavor with a bit of bite. We’re inviting IPA fans to go exotic.” Martin & Roper rarely steer you wrong.

Moe’s Madness includes Funked up Friday with Lawn Chair Kings at 5:30 p.m., plus dancing on the Patio with DJ Kaztro at 9 p.m. Saturday.

Elsewhere: the Kirk James Blues Band is at James Ranch north of Hermosa at 5 p.m. tonight (Thurs., Aug. 6) and at Hideaway Grill at Vallecito at 6 p.m. Friday; the Pete Giuliani Trio plays the Lake House at Vallecito at 7 p.m. Saturday; the Black Velvet duo plays at 6512’ Restaurant & Lounge at 7 p.m. Saturday, then is joined by Dave Oz for a date at the Balcony at 4 p.m. Sunday; the Six Dollar String Band returns for its 7 p.m. weekly Tuesday gig at the Yardbird Eatery; and the Sweetwater String Band plays Wednesday’s concert in the Rochester Hotel’s Secret Garden from 4:30-7. Proceeds from the latter benefit the Mountain Studies Institute.

Wine is fine but whiskey’s quicker?  Email me at chrisa@gobrainstorm.net.