Diver: Ricardo from the Diver Vault
Interesting facts: Ricardo’s strangest dive is too bizarre to recount in print

 

Dear Diver,

Also, what if Colorado Wild sues the Forest Service for allowing the access road to be put in across national forest to Ol’ Red’s building pad and, in an ironic twist of fate, the Forest Service decides to pay out their court loss by selling a large tract of timber for harvest or by selling out a piece of property for development in another area of the nation?

– Thanks, A concerned citizen

Concerned Citizen (is there only one of you?)

To answer the first of your two-part question, I converted my Geo Metro into a time machine (flux capacitor and all) and traveled 20 years into the future, and this is what I found: No one was complaining about buying property in Wolf Creek when it was cheap because most were killed by Cybernet T-1000 Terminators who, by the way, all had a striking resemblance to the governor of California. As for your “what if” question, I am not psychic. However, with the Forest Service’s decision to grant not one, but two access points to Red’s “village,” I would say that Friends of Wolf Creek need to make a lot more friends (hint, hint) if a successful administrative appeal is to take place. As for where I stand with development issues, let’s just say that if Red continues to play this game of Monopoly, I hope he draws a “go to jail” card soon

– Thanks, Dipsomaniac Diver

 

 

 

– Please help, Jenny

Jenny,
First of all, I despise guessing games. Second, violence is not the answer. However, Mahatma Gandhi once said “happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” So, if you are thinking that calling your friend a “dumb ass” to his face and then having all of your guy friends beat the crap out of him will make you happy and one with nature, then go for it.

– Signed,  Forrest Gump, aka the Diver

 

 

 

Hey Diver,
I just found out my daughter has been seeing/dating an older, married man (with kids) who lives in my neighborhood. Well, now the guy is leaving his family, and my daughter is moving in with him! She doesn’t believe that she is the cause of the wreck of his marriage and family. Now our town, his wife and her friends, and countless others are turning against my daughter. However she won’t believe me. How can I make her?
– Discouraged Dad

Hi Dad,
I have news for you, my friend: there isn’t much you can do about your daughter. She is not your little baby girl any more ’cause she’s all growed up and old enough to make her own decisions. If she wants to boink the old geezer till he croaks, so be it. By the way, does your daughter have any sisters?

– Desperate Diver

Seek help from the master of the In-Sinkerator. The diver has the solutions to life’s little messes. Send your problems to, “Ask the Diver:"
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