Diver: Eric Sirois, entrepreneurial man of mystery
Interesting Facts: Eric just learned that he was a fire dancer in another life.

Eric in his newest venture: Rent-a-Gladiator.

Dear Diver,
Don’t get me wrong I am not a Republican. But I am so over moochers. Take my neighbors, they claim to have no money and have to apply for food stamps but drive a brand new Subaru to cash in said food stamps and eat for free out of the bulk food bin. They are constantly trying to scam a “deal” or stalking the local happy hours buffets and telling me how hard it is while sporting brand new Birkenstocks and jetting off to the latest “show.” I feel like turning them in for fraud. Why can’t they just get a job – or three – like the rest of us?
– Miffed at Moochers
Dear Mini the Moocher,
Mooching is a way of life here. How else could our local population play so hard and live so well? This is what makes Durango so special. So get yourself a “City Market sushi card,” complain about how expensive this town is and start living the good life. Oh yah, and don’t forget to get on unemployment when your seasonal job ends.
– Diver
Dear Diver,
I have really been enjoying the wide array of edibles now at our disposal. Only problem: the dreaded bong breath. I feel like everyone knows I’ve been dabbling, and it’s really ruining my buzz. What does the diver recommend to squelch the hash-itosis?
– Hal
Dear Bong Boy,
It sounds like the drugs are starting to take hold. Try and not be so paranoid, no one can tell that you are high ... except for your girlfriend. If you can’t be stoned in public and chill, then save it for home, or try a different strain.
– Diver
Dear Diver,
It’s that time of year, when dandelions take over my yard. I know we’re supposed to embrace them, not annihilate them, but I just can’t seem to get behind this notion. I mean, they’re weeds! I feel so invaded. Please, diver, give me some peaceful but productive options for dealing with this annual invasion of my turf. My lower back thanks you.
– Not so Dandy
Dear Bla Bla Bla,
As an entrepreneur, I suggest picking them, creating some product like beer or headbands, and selling them at the local weed (dandelion) festival. Then after you have tested the market, bring your idea down to the (warning: shameless promotion) Entrepreneurs Lounge every Tuesday at the Himalayan Kitchen from 6-7:30 p.m. to get some feedback.
– Diver

In a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the In-Sinkerator. The diver has the solutions to life’s little messes. Send your problems to, “Ask the Diver:"
- 1309 E. Third Ave., Room 3 Durango, CO, 81301
- fax (970) 259-0488
- telegraph@durangotelegraph.com