Diver: Ally, aka “That girl with a blender at Raider Ridge”
Interesting fact: I love cilantro.

Ally, from Raider Ridge, lets it all hang out.
Dear Diver,
My neighbor keeps harassing me about letting my dog pee on his yard and how it leaves yellow spots on his pristine K-lawn. Only thing is, my dog has never so much as set a paw on his lawn, let alone peed on it. Then, the other day, there was a big pile of bear sh** that he also blamed on my dog. This man is so obnoxious (he once nearly ran me over with his truck in a haste to scream at me), that we have taken to avoiding his side of the block all together. How can we restore the peace in the neighborhood, or better yet – get him to go back to where he came from?
– P-ed Off

Dear P-ed Off,
Your neighbor seems like an a-hole. If restoring the peace is really the route you want to take in this situation, I would kill that unhappy grumpy old man with kindness. Bake him some cookies, maybe throw in a little Colorado butter to put a smile on that face. But, if I were you I would make his life a living hell. Watch the movie “Neighbors” for some inspiration.
– Sincerely, Cookies make everything better

Dear Diver,
So, I just got a scooter and was wondering, is there a secret “motorcycle” wave? I feel like the other day, I may received the “wave” from a guy on a motorcycle, but was afraid to wave back for fear of looking stupid. I mean, why would a motorcyclist stoop so low as to wave to a lowly scooter rider?
– Wavering

Dear Wavering,
Of course there is a secret wave. With jeeps, motorcycles, corvettes and basically any vintage car you always see people waving at each other like they’re in some sort of secret society. I drive a ’69 Volkswagen bug and every time I see someone with a car that looks remotely similar I get really excited and franticly wave like the person driving in the car and I have some sort of connection. But when you wave at someone whether or not you have similar transportation or you are just trying to be friendly, you should always wave back. Waving is a kind gesture that is always appreciated.
– Sincerely, You should always wave back

Dear Diver,
I finally got up the nerve to ask this girl I know out, and she said she wished I would have asked her sooner, but that she was busy. What the heck does that mean? Is she playing hard to get or should I move on? Please help me decode this foreign language.
– Lost Boy

Dear Lost Boy,
This is no foreign language, it sounds like a terrible excuse for saying she wasn’t interested. It sucks that people can’t be honest sometimes. But good for you for getting up the nerve to ask her out, that takes some balls. You would have always been curious about her if you didn’t ask. Go out there and work your confident charm on someone else, trust me. There’s nothing better then a boy with confidence.
– Sincerely, Single girls in Durango

In a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the In-Sinkerator. The diver has the solutions to life’s little messes. Send your problems to, “Ask the Diver:"
- 1309 E. Third Ave., Room 3 Durango, CO, 81301
- fax (970) 259-0488
- telegraph@durangotelegraph.com


In this week's issue...

January 25, 2024
Bagging it

State plastic bag ban is in full effect, but enforcement varies

January 26, 2024
Paper chase

The Sneer is back – and no we’re not talking about Billy Idol’s comeback tour.

January 11, 2024
High and dry

New state climate report projects continued warming, declining streamflows