Babs likes to show off her Coppertone tan while blocking the cereal aisle at the local grocery store.

Diver: Babs, the poster girl for sunblock
Interesting facts: The sun is slowly heating up. In fact, within just a billion years, the heat from the sun will be so intense that liquid won’t exist on the surface of the Earth. So drink up now.

Dear Diver,
So, these friends of mine insist that people only smell if they are genetically predisposed to it; i.e. you only get body odor if you have a certain “body odor” gene. Really? I mean doesn’t everyone eventually stink given enough sweating and/or lack of hygiene? They insist they don’t, but I just wonder what else of theirs doesn’t “stink.”
– Something Fishy

Dear Phishy,
I could see how one would try to argue that bad odor is due to a genetic predisposition, people always look for someone else to blame. However,  you can tell your supposedly perfect and odor-free friends that human stench is not a predisposed human quality but rather an accumulation of bacteria. So your buddy who claims he doesn’t have a “body odor” gene will need to find another excuse for the stank, funk and stench that is protruding from his body. There’s always the dog.
– Babs

Dear Diver,
I am in my late-twenties and just met this guy who seemed pretty cool – until I found out he and his friends get together for “nerf” gun wars once a week. He is a total “Nerf Nerd!” And to make matters worse, the losers get massive wedgies from the winners. Should I be worried  this a huge red flag in the immaturity department? Or is it a sign of sensitivity (at least they don’t use real guns) and a sense of humor?
– Recoiling

Dear Nerf Wife,
No, nope and again no, escape immediately … I don’t trust adults who have Nerf wars on an annual basis, or any sort of L.A.R.P. for that matter. I am not one to be opposed to fun and play; however I am regularly opposed to grown men playing with foam toys that are meant for ages 5-12 years, especially if they are not intoxicated. YES, it is a serious red flag in the maturity department, mostly because of what the victors hand out as an extra dose of castration.
– Babs

Dear Diver,
What is the proper way to deal with people at the grocery store who park their cart blocking the entire aisle and make everyone else stand there and wait while they cause gridlock and daydream over the various types of bran cereal and Rice-a-Roni or rock out to the muzac? It’s like they’re oblivious that there are other people, who might possibly be on a tight schedule, trying to buy food before they starve to death. Please help - politeness and patience gets me nowhere.
– Spinning My Wheels

Dear Spinner,
Unfortunately, I know these people and usually they are the innocent grandmothers or mothers with five kids, who you feel bad for. Or if you are lucky, they are some asshole you don’t feel that you have to be nice too. Either way, maybe “accidentally” knocking their cart to the side with yours and making a loud huffing noise will clue them in. If you are looking for a more subtle method, wait until they have turned away from the Rice-a-Roni and sneakily move their cart for them. If you truly want to avoid the road blocks, get to the grocery store when they open and beat them to the cereal aisle. Be sure to park your cart sideways when you get there
– Babs