Di
ver: Valerie Van Kirk, Lift Operations Supervisor Superstar at DMR
Interesting facts: Makes a mean apple cake
ver: Valerie Van Kirk, Lift Operations Supervisor Superstar at DMRInteresting facts: Makes a mean apple cake
Dear Diver
My boyfriend and I just decided to tie the knot. We are planning an outdoor wedding in a beautiful setting for next summer, but my mother, who has lived her entire life as a flatlander in the city, is beside herself. She keeps telling friends and family back home that we are getting married in a “field” as if we are planning some sort of Rainbow Festival. How do I reassure her that outdoor weddings are the norm here in the mountains and it’s not going to be some redneck rumpus?
– Daughter of Momzilla
My boyfriend and I just decided to tie the knot. We are planning an outdoor wedding in a beautiful setting for next summer, but my mother, who has lived her entire life as a flatlander in the city, is beside herself. She keeps telling friends and family back home that we are getting married in a “field” as if we are planning some sort of Rainbow Festival. How do I reassure her that outdoor weddings are the norm here in the mountains and it’s not going to be some redneck rumpus?
– Daughter of Momzilla
Dear Daughter,
Remember it’s your day, and if you want a rainbow mountaintop wedding then you should have one. Send your mother photos of Colorado mountain weddings to get her excited for it. Keep her busy with small details such as wedding cake topper, flowers, dress detail, flower girl dresses, in charge of grandmas, helping with anything to keep her out of your hair and to make her feel needed. It might be your day, but she needs to be coddled, too. Yes, you will understand when your kids get married. If it still comes to blows, don’t back down unless they are paying for it, in which case you need to find common ground. Good luck – it’s only one day out of your life, don’t let it get out of control, can you say “TV weddings?”
– Diver
Remember it’s your day, and if you want a rainbow mountaintop wedding then you should have one. Send your mother photos of Colorado mountain weddings to get her excited for it. Keep her busy with small details such as wedding cake topper, flowers, dress detail, flower girl dresses, in charge of grandmas, helping with anything to keep her out of your hair and to make her feel needed. It might be your day, but she needs to be coddled, too. Yes, you will understand when your kids get married. If it still comes to blows, don’t back down unless they are paying for it, in which case you need to find common ground. Good luck – it’s only one day out of your life, don’t let it get out of control, can you say “TV weddings?”
– Diver
Dear Diver,
I am trying to decide whether to buy the $35 insurance for my ski pass this year or not. Seems like if I buy it, I’m almost expecting to get injured, in which case I probably will. On the other hand, I feel like everyone around me is getting hurt, and it’s only a matter of time till my number’s up, so maybe I should. What would the diver do?
– Uneasy Rider
I am trying to decide whether to buy the $35 insurance for my ski pass this year or not. Seems like if I buy it, I’m almost expecting to get injured, in which case I probably will. On the other hand, I feel like everyone around me is getting hurt, and it’s only a matter of time till my number’s up, so maybe I should. What would the diver do?
– Uneasy Rider
Dear Uneasy Rider,
Get the insurance and save yourself some flack. We all know there are folks out there that only ride once a year. Be aware, be very aware. Know the code and use it. Do you ride with ear phones in? Don’t! You need to see and hear everything that is coming at you or from behind you. Look up hill, for gods sakes, you are not the only person out there. Do you drink your weight in shots and then ride? Of course you are going to get hurt, duh! If you don’t like the trees then don’t go in them, don’t be intimidated by peer pressure ... crutches are not fun! Don’t jinx yourself about getting hurt, if it’s going to happen then it will. But keeping a smart head on your shoulders should keep you having fun on all of the powder days. Remember it’s about having fun but being safe.
– Diver
Get the insurance and save yourself some flack. We all know there are folks out there that only ride once a year. Be aware, be very aware. Know the code and use it. Do you ride with ear phones in? Don’t! You need to see and hear everything that is coming at you or from behind you. Look up hill, for gods sakes, you are not the only person out there. Do you drink your weight in shots and then ride? Of course you are going to get hurt, duh! If you don’t like the trees then don’t go in them, don’t be intimidated by peer pressure ... crutches are not fun! Don’t jinx yourself about getting hurt, if it’s going to happen then it will. But keeping a smart head on your shoulders should keep you having fun on all of the powder days. Remember it’s about having fun but being safe.
– Diver
Dear Diver,
My boss just friended me on Facebook. Seems to me like a serious encroachment on my personal life, but if I don’t accept, I’m worried I’ll get fired. Then again, if I do accept, I might get fired, too. What to do?
– Work Buddy
My boss just friended me on Facebook. Seems to me like a serious encroachment on my personal life, but if I don’t accept, I’m worried I’ll get fired. Then again, if I do accept, I might get fired, too. What to do?
– Work Buddy
Dear Work Buddy,
FB is scary land, and there are a lot of creepers out there. First make sure your settings are up to date, so only your friends see your page. Second, if you don’t want boss man to be your FB buddy, then don’t. If he brings it up at work, tell him you will be talking to HR about this and work needs to stay at work. Or maybe it’s that push you need to get out of that dead-end job with the creepy boss. The Purg job fair is Nov. 11, fairgrounds 9-3, just saying. And if you have stuff on your page that you wouldn’t show your mother, like you passed out in your own vomit or drunk yet again in another photo, then maybe it’s time to stop posting photos like that ... they don’t go away. Just saying, is that how you want all thousand FB friends to see you?
– Diver
FB is scary land, and there are a lot of creepers out there. First make sure your settings are up to date, so only your friends see your page. Second, if you don’t want boss man to be your FB buddy, then don’t. If he brings it up at work, tell him you will be talking to HR about this and work needs to stay at work. Or maybe it’s that push you need to get out of that dead-end job with the creepy boss. The Purg job fair is Nov. 11, fairgrounds 9-3, just saying. And if you have stuff on your page that you wouldn’t show your mother, like you passed out in your own vomit or drunk yet again in another photo, then maybe it’s time to stop posting photos like that ... they don’t go away. Just saying, is that how you want all thousand FB friends to see you?
– Diver
In a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the In-Sinkerator. The diver has the solutions to life’s little messes. Send your problems to, “Ask the Diver:"
- 1309 E. Third Ave., Room 25 Durango, CO, 81301
- fax (970) 259-0488
- telegraph@durangotelegraph.com
- 1309 E. Third Ave., Room 25 Durango, CO, 81301
- fax (970) 259-0488
- telegraph@durangotelegraph.com
In this week's issue...
- January 25, 2024
- Bagging it
State plastic bag ban is in full effect, but enforcement varies
- January 26, 2024
- Paper chase
The Sneer is back – and no we’re not talking about Billy Idol’s comeback tour.
- January 11, 2024
- High and dry
New state climate report projects continued warming, declining streamflows