Diver: George, George / George of Durango / Strong as he can be.
Interesting facts: In those old Bond flicks, the screen always goes black when things start getting hot and heavy with the ladies, so we don’t actually know what they’re doing. Do they stop making out and play Parcheesi? Nobody knows.

Dear Diver,
I’ve been curious about this “Linsanity” sweeping the nation. I thought maybe Jeremy Lin and the Knicks were doing something special, then I checked their record and they aren’t even a winning team. What’s up with this? It’s like the Tim Tebow thing all over again. Shouldn’t the real winners like Lebron James and Dwayne Wade be getting the press?
– Lin Me Your Ear

Dear Sports,
I’m gonna pull a political debate trick I’ve learned recently and answer the question I wanted to hear: A stingray was the last thing on my mind as a plausible cause of death when I learned the Crocodile Hunter had died. Seriously, how could that even happen? Those things are the ocean’s pancakes, and his fate should have rested in the jaws of an 18-foot reptile. So sad.
– Crikey! The Diver

Dear Diver,
Supposedly no two snowflakes are exactly the same. But how do “they” know? It’s not like you can sit down and check every one. And more importantly, who are “they” - why should we believe what “they” say?
– Feeling Flaky

Dear Flaky,
“They” are the same people who cast Sean Connery as a Russian sub commander, but made him keep his thick, Scottish accent. I think there was also one where he was a Berber...that one was even less convincing. Though...you know what? That man can do whatever the hell he wants because he’s SEAN mother-f(expletive deleted) CONNERY: The best damned Bond there ever was! Would you just be happy with the magical thought that no snowflake is the same, and you can dress Mr. Connery up however you want, but he’s going to be Scottish and it’s going to be awesome??? Damn, I wish that guy was my dad. What are we talking about again?
– The Diver

Dear Diver,
For the most part, everyone I’ve met in Durango has been cool and casual. But every now and then I come across a “close talker.” You know, they like to get two inches in front of your face while telling you something, and when you try to back up they only move in closer. Pretty soon, you are backed into a corner like an animal and ready to chew your own leg off to escape. Don’t they know about personal space? What tips does the diver have to keep these people out of my “bubble,” they scare me.
– Boy in the Bubble

Dear Mr. Gyllenhaal,
Fight fire with fire, I say! If they inch toward you, inch right back at them. Don’t stop until you’re whispering your sentences in their ear, pausing, and audibly sniffing them. Even more preferable, softly sing “I Will Always Love You.” If that doesn’t send them away to close talk with someone else and never bother you again, I don’t know what will.
– IIIIII-EEEE-IIIIII, WILL AL-A-WAYS LOOoove, The Diver