Divers: Nasty NeNe, the Baller and the Dirtbag
Interesting facts: These three divers never go anywhere alone and even take photos together for the group Christmas card

Dear Diver,
 I’m almost 30. Does that mean the kids at the skate park can stop being mean to me?
– Big Wheels

Dear Geriatric Hot Wheels,
Age has nothing to do with it, you obviously still suck. You’ve got nothing on those 12-year-olds. Which brings us to our second point, why are you hanging out at the skate park with 12-year-olds? Your Segway was never cool, and neither are your rollerblades, bro. Maybe you should just stay home.
–Disciplined Diver

Dear Diver,
I just found out that a place I work at has hidden surveillance cameras so the boss can keep tabs on us when she’s not there. Seems totally creepy and a little big sisterish. Is this common practice or some kind of government conspiracy? Or are they just hoping for some good youtube footage of me picking my nose?
– Candid Cameron

Dear Camera Sly,
First off, what is sisterish? We have seen your sister in a video and it wasn’t on youtube. Is it sisterish to put films of people picking their nose on youtube? We went through the 9,000 searches of nose picking on youtube, and you’re not there. Bummer, now wait a second, you pick your nose at work? Are you in food service? Please tell me you wear those finger condom things. As divers we recommend practicing safe nose picking. Anywho, did you hear Mitt Romney is an alien? Nice work Mitt, you’ve got our vote, if it’s true.
– Diving For Romney

Dear Diver,
What has happened to good grammar and spelling? I know supposedly college-educated people who can’t even form coherent sentences or don’t know “they’re” from “their” ass. Is it the downfall of civilization or what? I am worried we are devolving into a bunch of illiterate baboons.
– By the Book

Dear WAB (What’s a book?),
We’re sorry youre still using your bag phone? LOL, the rest of us, have cell phones, and even illiterate baboons have opposable thumbs for texting. You’re still call people? Man, you’re missin out on this magical technology where you send messages 2  PPL using wrds. GAL (get a life), bcuz ITFB (it’s the future b@#**). This is the way youngsters be in touch these days. Maybe U should start hangin out at the skate park, just stay away frum Big Wheels. Actually you 2 should hang out, just not in public. Ah but alas, it is certain that the grammar of America’s youth  has degraded, nevertheless think of what we as society have received in return: OMG! So hungover at wrk last nite crazy my BFF puked on rndm dude WTF? ROTFLMFAO TGIF.
– Overeducated Durangutans, Divers out!


 

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