Diver: David of Wagon Wheel Liquors
Interesting facts: A 10-gallon hat just barely holds 6 pints

Dear Diver,
Maybe it was something I drank. I don’t know what happened, but I’ve managed to forget the date of my wife’s birthday. The numbers were there a few weeks ago, but now they’re gone … and I mean gone – totally irretrievable. How can I regain this precious knowledge without being noticed?
– Approaching the dog house in Durango

OK man,
I’ll save your ass this time. Here’s what you do: Unglue the bong from your face. Kill the tube and dispose of all fantasy football paperwork. Then just wait. When the divorce papers show up where the Cheetos and gravy usually are, you’ll have a perfect chance to glance at her personal info. Bingo!
– Diver

Dear Diver,
Do smokers still think that cigarettes are somehow glamorous and attractive? I regularly see Marlboro Men and Virginia Slims in front of watering holes, and they act like they’re redefining “cool” in Durango. However, I also see the same people out on their porch and feeding the monkey at 7 a.m. when I drop my kid at school. Which is it – cool or fool.
– Another dissatisfied customer    

Dear Dissatisfied,
Smoking is what it is ... whatever subjective label people give it is irrelevant. Keep your eyes on the road, get your kids safely to school and don’t mind your neighbor blazing a spliff. By the way, when people in Durango start defining cool, let me know.  
– Diver

Dear Diver,
Is college still necessary? All of my friends with liberal arts degrees are currently unemployed and all my plumber/electrician buds are bellied up at the martini bar. Did I blow it? My student loans seem to think so.
– Senior Moment, Durango

Dear Senior,
Yes, you blew it. All that time and money is gone forever. Now you can begin thinking on your own and cultivating ideas and talents that you never dreamed of. Take your ambitions and run with … wait, plumbers and electricians hanging out at martini bars? What the flock?
– Diver