Diver: Dave Diaz, snowmaker by morning, sushi slinger by night

Diver Dave works nights and doesn’t show up in photographs. Vampire?

Intersting facts: Dave is one of the few divers that actually gets paid for pulling all-nighters

Dear Diver,
I was reading an ingredient label the other day and came across a new one: “organic cheese flavor.” Pray tell, what exactly is organic cheese flavor? Does it come from a dirty hippie’s Birkenstocks? Or worse?
– Conscious Consumer

O conscious consumer,
I don’t understand how you have any problem with this at all. The first word is “organic,” which means you can stop reading right there. But you did find a great correlation between organic foods and hippies Birks. They both have flavors you don’t really want in your mouth. For the “or worse” part, just be glad you didn’t taste any duck butter.
– Twinkees Forever, Fat Diver

Dear Diver,
Please help settle a discussion amongst my friends and I. Some of them speculate that the phrase “dude” came to popularity in the ’80s with Spiccoli in “Fast Times and Ridgemont High,” but I say it did not gain widespread use until at least the early to mid-90s, perpetuated by the jibber culture.
– Looking for the Dude

Dude Looker,
Dude you have been going about this all wrong, dude. Sure, Spiccoli can be attributed to helping put dude on the map, but he is just one of many dudes. Bill and Ted dude, and the dude himself, Big Lebowski. Sure jibbers have taken from this but really they can’t think for themselves. First, they had pants down by their knees, and now they have pants so tight you wonder how they can still jib at all. What you need to know is some dude rules: more then 10 “dudes” in a sentence is too much. Put a “man” or “bro” in there to spread it out. And the most important rule: never, under any circumstance, call your girlfriend “dude” when you are fighting.
– Dude, Dude bro man

Dear Diver,
With winter upon us, I tend to spend a lot of time in boots and other unbreathable footwear. My problem is, like clockwork, I get a raging case of athlete’s foot. I’ve tried everything, to no avail. Being a diver, I know you are on your feet a lot in less than ideal conditions. Please help me fight the winter fungi.
– Trench Footed

Dear Trenchie,
I don’t think this is the best question for a snowmaker. We live in our boots and have little time for rest. This should explain why nothing you have read so far makes sense. I have been up all night and am writing. Wait, what was the question? Oh yeah, I know. Just get some Smartwools so your feet stay warm in your birks. Then you can have your own stash of organic cheese flavor dude. I really hope trench foot isn’t organic cheese flavor.
– Clean socks always, Diver

In a sticky situation? Got a dirty little secret?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen.  The diver has the solutions to life’s little messes. Send your problems to, “Ask the Diver:"
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