Dear Diver,

Where is the true “comfort zone” on the thermostat? My husband wants to park our heat at 65 degrees, but I’m more of a 70-degree gal. I’d even like to splurge and jack it up to 72 degrees on occasion. No big deal, right? Where’s the Diver’s dial set?

– Chilly Millie, Durango

Dear Cold Heart,

Like most Coloradans, I own long underwear, know how to chop wood, and build a fire. The idea of paying an astronomical heating bill is what inspires me to pick up the ax. So I guess the answer to your question lies in how deep your pockets are. Also, I smell trouble if you and your husband can’t seem to agree on something as simple as 7 degrees. And as you probably already know, the majority of marital problems start in the bedroom; which incidentally is where one could generate enough heat to get through the chilly months.

– Cold Hands Warm Heart

Dear Diver,

I’m trying  … I mean really trying ... to honor a New Year’s resolution and stay on the wagon until Snowdown. Let’s just say that Durango isn’t exactly friendly to wagoneers like myself, and I could use a little guidance. What pointers do you have for dodging temptation and staying on the straight and narrow for two more weeks?  

– Thirsty, via e-mail

Dear No Self Control,

I totally know what you’re going through. Three years ago, I successfully quit smoking for nine whole months. How did I do it? I stopped hanging out with all my loser friends who smoked. And anytime I wanted one, I would just imagine what I’d look like after 30 years of smoking – yellow teeth, wrinkles from my forehead to my navel, bad breath and black lungs. So I suggest you eliminate your triggers. You know, whatever gives you that hankering for five Jack and Cokes. And maybe start visualizing what you liver looks like after a night of binging. And if those don’t seem to help you get through your cravings, maybe you should check out an AA meeting. A support group filled with people who want to drink almost as much has you do could help put things into perspective. And if I may boast, I’m on 21 days without a smoke! If I can do it, you can do it!

– Good Luck, your liver will thank you

Dear Diver,

What does a non-skier/non-hockey player/non-gym rat do for fun in Durango in January? It’s been a little bleak out there for us summer-types, and I could use some direction in these dark days.

– Donnie in Durango

P.S. Winter ends in March, doesn’t it?

Dear Donnie, (sorry I have no funny nickname for you, I could do the D.D. thing but that’s been done)

There is so much to do this time of year, even for the non-winter types. You could tour the hot springs in the area. Or do a good, old-fashioned pub crawl (and please try not to visualize your liver). Or you could follow the advice I gave to “Cold Heart” and get your butt in the bedroom and make your own sunshine. Or you could buy some snow pants from the Methodist Thrift Store and just hang out at the School House, no skiing/lift ticket required. Or, since Little Beav is usually MIA in the winter, you could take over his job and be Durango’s private eye. Or you could hang out with me at a coffee shop, and we can write pretentious poetry together. Or you could start buying cases of wine and sign up for Netflix. Or you could get one of those blue screens that helps ease the symptoms of SADD (seasonal affective disorder depression). The possibilities are endless, it just takes a little imagination.

– Lake Days are just a few short months away!

P.S. March 20 is the first day of Spring. Hang in there tiger.