Jade, Chaz McFlash and Tebowing

by Chris Aaland

It’s official. “Tebowing” is now a verb, or at least according to the Global Language Monitor, largely considered to be the “Websters” of the Internet. Last week, the Monitor, which tracks trends in language usage, declared “tebowing” as “the act of taking a knee in prayer during an athletic contest.”

I would like to propose a second definition: “to carry the athletic hopes and dreams of an entire geographic region on one’s shoulders.” Example A: After recovering from partially torn ACL, Fabian Kling tebowed the Fort Lewis College men’s soccer team to their third national championship in 2011. Example B: Tim Thomas tebowed the Boston Bruins to their first Stanley Cup since 1972.

I’ll admit it: I’m not sure what to think of No. 15. He’s arguably the worst passer among NFL quarterbacks. Yet he offsets that with skills that none of the so-called experts know how to assess. Built with a linebacker’s body, there’s no quarterback around who dishes out the punishment like Timmy T when he barrels through defenders. And his will to win is much ballyhooed.

The whole Tebow phenomenon is something that divides Mile High sports fans more so than it unites them — and I’m straddling the fence. One thing is certain: Tebow has led the Broncos to the brink of their first AFC West crown since 2005.

But what strikes me more is how popular media embraces him. Saturday Night Live aired one of their best skits in decades last weekend when Jesus met Tebow and the Broncos in the locker room. Rick Perry is hoping his fondness of Tebow will resurrect his abominable presidential run. I get countless texts and emails with German shorthairs, naked women and cartoon characters doing the Tebow pose. Entire websites are devoted to Tebow jokes (Chuck Norris wears Tim Tebow pajamas; Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Tim Tebow each night).

I’m not sure what Christmas entails for my family this year, but I can guarantee someone will give Otto something Tebow-related, and I know that I’ll be glued to the tube at 11 a.m. on Christmas Eve Day to watch the Broncos/Bills game.

I believe. Sort of.

In other news, the Abbey Theatre welcomes Jade, best known for her work with Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, at 9 p.m. on Wed., Dec. 28. You probably recognize her vocals on the hit, “Home,” a tune she authored with Alex Ebert. With Sharpe and Co., she’s rocked enormous festivals like Bonnaroo, Coachella and Telluride Bluegrass, been featured in Rolling Stone, and appeared on countless late night shows like Conan O’Brien, David Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel. Her solo concerts feature all the hits she’s done with Sharpe, plus material from a forthcoming solo project. Also on the bill are Mike Musik and the Saint James Band.

One of the most anticipated releases of the season is Ska’s annual Snowdown beer. The beer Gestapo guards kegs and cases like Fort Knox gold in order to keep some of the holy nectar around long enough for the actual Snowdown itself (Feb. 1-5). Get an early taste from 5-7 p.m. on Tues., Dec. 27, when Ska hosts the Snowdown beer release party for Faeries Wear Boots, a gingerbread brown ale. Save a few bucks, as they’ll be selling twofer pints that night. Kudos to the boys for naming a beer after a Black Sabbath song.

Some New Year’s music to consider: Jack Ten High at the Grand Imperial Hotel in Silverton; Ralph Dinosaur at the Sky Ute Casino in Ignacio; the Summit’s phunky reggae party featuring A Dub Rock Band; Hello Doll Face and the Robby Overfield Trio at the Abbey; and Sagorith, RAD and Whale Logic at the American Legion.

The Summit’s slate also includes a boatload of DJ Request fiestas (Dec. 22, 24 and 29), happy hour with Chaz McFlash from 6-9 p.m. on Fri., Dec. 23, followed by Payne & Money at 10 p.m., happy hour with Eric Kiefer from 6-9 p.m. on Fri., Dec. 30, and a 10 p.m. performance by White Water Ramble that same night.

Other stuff of interest: Pete Giuliani plays acoustic happy hour at El Rancho from 5-8 p.m. on Fri., Dec. 23; Black Velvet does the Diamond Belle Saloon on Friday and Saturday, Dec. 30-31; and the A-Men hold their gospel brunch at the Diamond Belle at 1 p.m. on Sun., Jan. 1.

This week’s Top Shelf list features 10 events I’m looking forward to in the first half of 2012:
 

1. Infamous Stringdusters, Thurs., Jan. 12, Community Concert Hall. Durango’s favorite bluegrass band returns on the heels of their outstanding new album, “We’ll Do it Live,” with jamgrass favorites Elephant Revival opening for them on tour.

2. Outlaw Snowdown, Friday-Sunday, Jan. 13-15, Pagosa Springs. Let’s get the obvious out of the way first: C’mon, Pagosa, pick a better name. Snowdown is ours. But the lineup includes the Supersuckers, Stoney Larue, Elizabeth Cook, the Band of Heathens and Jason Boland & the Stragglers, among others. Cool.

3. Reverend Horton Heat with the Supersuckers, Abbey Theatre, Wed., Jan. 18. Two alt-country legends whose music is soaked in whiskey and beer means there will be a lot of folks calling in sick the next day.

4. Blues Pilgrims, featuring Eric Bibb & Guy Davis, Thurs., Feb. 9, Community Concert Hall. These two guys keep traditional blues alive. While I’ve never seen Bibb, I was among a handful of folks who saw Davis when he played a pair of Durango Acoustic Music shows the last 15 years. Don’t miss out this time around.

5. Emmitt-Nershi Band, Fri., Feb. 10, Abbey Theatre. The creative geniuses behind Leftover Salmon and the String Cheese Incident joined forces to forge a newgrass supergroup a few years ago. Waiting on Trial opens.

6. Leftover Salmon, Sat., March 10, Community Concert Hall. Durango’s concert event of the year.

7. Marty Stuart & his Fabulous Superlatives, Wed., March 28, Community Concert Hall. Stuart swings both ways, adept in either country or bluegrass. He’s guaranteed to bring the twang.

8. Claire Lynch Band, Sat., March 31, Community Concert Hall. Lynch is a two-time IBMA Female Vocalist of the Year. Bluegrass just doesn’t get any better.

9. 18th annual Durango Bluegrass Meltdown, Fri.-Sun., April 20-22. Charlie Sizemore, Chatham County Line, Cahalan Morrison & Eli West and the Freight Hoppers headline this high and lonesome shindig.

10. Taj Mahal Trio, Tuesday, May 22, Community Concert Hall. A veritable legend, just in time to kick off the summer festival season. n

Grandma got run over by a reindeer? (Or was it Tim Tebow?) Email me at chrisa@gobrainstorm.net.