Writer, comedian and Esquire hottie Tina Fey once said, “Always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?”

We should all care, apparently. I can only assume this because it’s what I’m told, constantly, by magazine covers and advertisements. A magazine comes to my house every month addressed to the previous tenant, it’s cover is rife with beauty secrets, 5 minute fat burning abdominal work outs and sex positions, sometimes even sex positions meant to burn the most calories.

But that’s only fair, right? They have to make us girls fear we are not sexy enough without their product or the tips they dole out in their magazine, after all they need to support their $33 billion industry. We need lotions and tanners and cellulite dissolvers, make up to make our eyes and lips look bigger, our skin smoother, goo to make our hair sleek and voila! She’s a natural beauty!

Not that perfection is a new trend in our youth-obsessed culture. Women used to drink arsenic to whiten their skin and cinch corsets so tight that it forced their internal organs to shift in their bodies. Pore-minimizing sunscreen and Spanx don’t seem so bad in comparison.

But our bodies are now scrutinized as if we have control over how we are built. And if we aren’t model thin, we obviously don’t have the discipline. How are girls supposed to have long stick legs like Gisele Bundchen, a booty like J-Lo, and Scarlett Johanssen’s breasts? It’s a freaky combination of ideal-woman beauty, especially if you want her to do anything but look pretty.

How about this instead: legs like a mountain biker, arms like a rock climber, an Alpine skier’s booty, and kayaker’s abs. Throw in a Nordic skier’s muscle tone with a boater’s high alcohol tolerance, and you have yourself the perfect mountain woman! I don’t know where she’ll shop, though, because I have yet to find a pair of jeans that allow for a woman to have muscular legs and a small waist.

Perhaps you are reading this in your cross-country ski pants and old Hafflinger clogs, just returned from holiday shopping with many other like-dressed Durangotangs, wondering if anyone actually does care about fashion. Isn’t Durango the Worst Dressed Town in America? Well, that title is almost as old as I am, and like a 13-year-old invited to the cool table at lunch, Durango has gotten trendier as it’s popularity increased. Although bolos are still preferred to neck ties, and high heels will never be practical on icy sidewalks.

But Durango retains its casual roots thanks to a combination of our athletic community, penny-pinching waiters/ski bums, a desire to escape the confines of city fashion, and geographic impracticality. We are lucky enough that we can rely on reputation in a small town, and don’t need to dress to impress as much as we might if we were anonymous city dwellers.

A customer at my bar recently questioned me about the town because he was thinking of moving his wife and preteen daughters here from Phoenix. His major concern for them was the lack of a “mall scene.” I was genuinely stumped as to what he meant, until he explained that his eldest daughter spent her free time at the malls.

I tried to explain that what I did for fun growing up in Durango had nothing to do with shopping. We went skiing in the wintertime, mountain biked for Devo after school, played soccer, went sledding, and admittedly made our own brand of trouble, but it didn’t have to do with maxing out our parents’ credit cards.

I don’t think he believed me; my story was far too Utopian. Maybe he didn’t think little girls could be interested in things like that, things that got you dirty or exercise when the goal wasn’t weight loss. My unofficial high school uniform was jeans and a sweatshirt, but maybe that’s why I couldn’t get a date…

This conversation, combined with increased sightings of holiday tourists trying to look mountain-chic in thin coats and trendy hats that don’t cover their ears, makes me appreciate being a Colorado girl. And for those not in the know, here’s a short guide to what to wear, and not wear, in Durango.

- Do put comfort and practicality first: you can wear a prom dress or pajamas to the bars and nobody will care. Girls, rock your Carhartts, be they bibs or a vest or just a comfy broke-in pair—the more paint, dirt and bike-grease stains, the better.

- If your shirt has a hood or your skirt has pockets, it’s that much cooler. You should own a denim skirt. It’s the perfect Durango blend of I’m-dressing-up-but-so-casually-you-can’t-tell. Also girls should own a cotton sundress. You can wear this to weddings, barbeques, The Balcony or work.

- And cowgirl boots are great for when you feel like dressing up that denim skirt a little more.

- Plaid flannel shirts, you can’t have too many.

- Hats are essential: they hide your helmet hair, camp hair and always look good with braids! Plus, it means you can go straight from the mountain to the bar.

- And remember: a goggle tan is always sexy!

- For the guys: don’t spend too much money on anything, and it will be cool. Don’t dress according to brand, but to price and function. If you bought something with a pro-deal, that’s even better. Spending your money on gear is much sexier.

- Always, ALWAYS dress up for Snowdown—or Halloween or a cocktail party or ugly Christmas sweater party, and don’t think twice about going out in public and showing off your awesome costume to everyone at the bar!

- Above all, remember this: who cares? No one! With or without make up, you’ll have fun with your friends. So, girls, if you feel like wearing your new high heels, rock ’em! If you feel like flip flops and a baseball cap are the most attention you can put into your ensemble, your confidence will be your best accessory.

There you have it, my answer to the women’s magazine. No articles on how to meet men at the gym, what to wear to attract attention at the bar or how to spend an hour on your hair to make it look tousled—just a celebration of what it means to grow up in a subculture that celebrates the beauty of health.  

It means confident young women who are less obsessed with hiding their flaws and mimicking perfection, women who do not fear aging nor do they build their lives around calorie burning, and because of this, we achieve something universally sexy: happiness.

 

— Maggie Casey