Dear Diver,

Now that political power is swinging back to the Grand Old Party, I have a question. Are Republicans really evil? Are they really all corporate pawns intent on drilling and dozing Earth into extinction? Just wondering.

– On the Fence in Durango

Humpty Dumpty,

Politicians are doing the balancing act also, they’re not necessarily evil but they are game pieces, more like rooks. We’re the pawns. Look at all those corporate shoes out there, nobody twisted our arms to make us buy those fancy Nike running shoes or those stylish skateboard shoes. And no, the Earth won’t go extinct. We probably will. So it goes.

– Diver

Dear Diver,

Who’s the woman who cruises around town with all of the hula hoops? I see her just about everywhere, and I’m confused. Is she some kind of a performance artist or are the hoops for sale? Also, is hula hoping still cool in this post-String Cheese Incident era?

– B.L.T, via e-mail

BLT,

Are you named after the sandwich or are you just funny? But that’s not the point. Don’t know the lady’s name, but she makes some nice hoops, wears neat shoes also. She is a get-around kind of person, but she is a performer and a good one. I think that String Cheese is a Kraft product, Post makes granola. Just remember that it’s all cool, and you won’t be confused anymore.

– Diver  

P.S. They wouldn’t let us hula-hoop in the orphanage ‘cause it was too suggestive

Dear Diver,

What’s the best way to score a season pass and do as little work as possible. I missed the early bird cut-off and desperately need some kind of a ticket to ride this winter. I should mention that I’d rather not teach kids ski school or bus tables at Purgy’s.

– Doug, Durango  

Lazy Doug from Durango

Your ticket this year will be in the form of a hand-me-down pair of snow shoes, Dougie.  If you are unwilling to work for your goals early when the time is ripe or even now when it is still possible for you to enjoy the season, I refuse to help you out. What’s so wrong with teaching 10-year-old children to ski anyway? Coming from someone with equal aptitude as yourself should be fun. What goes around comes around, and maybe this year is your year to change your couch potato ways. But it won’t come easy, I suggest you bundle up.

– Diver