Dear Diver,

What happened to the wine cooler? Back in the day, when I was developing a “taste” for alcohol, they were everywhere. Bartles, James and the legendary California Cooler all had a huge amount of market share. But I haven’t seen a single bottle since the days of Scritti Politti. What happened to the one-time, American powerhouse?

- Thirsty, Durango

Dear Thirsty,

Back in the day, middle-schoolers had very limited options as far as what to drink and ended up with wine coolers. Kids in this day and age have upgraded to bigger and better, such as flavored vodka.

– Divers

Dear Diver,

I’m fairly new to town and a little confused. What do I call myself? Is it Durangatang, Durangoan or Durangoite? I’ve even heard Durangoon, but am pretty sure it wasn’t meant to be flattering. What name do we Animas Valley dwellers go by?

– Identity Thief

Dear I.T.,

If you just moved to town, you are an out-of-towner. If you belong to the chimp species, you’re a Durang-a-tang. Individuals from outer space are durango-ites (meteorites), and born and raised locals are Durangoans. As far as Animas valley dwellers go, they are Hermo-sites.

– Divers

Dear Diver,

You just think you’re sooooo ****ing smart, don’t you?

– Love, The Eat Me Beat Me Lady

Dear Lady,

Sounds like a good time... where and when?!

– Divers