Dear Diver,

Why does the aging process include the appearance of unwanted hair in unusual places? Let’s just say that a few dark and curlies have been sprouting up where they’re not needed. Do hair, nostril and toe hair actually serve a purpose? How do I get rid of these unwanted saplings?

– Jorge in Hermosa

Dear Jorge,

These dark and curlies that you are seeing do serve a great purpose. It shows the opposite sex that you are not a young, out-of-control boy anymore but a wise aging man. Women love hairy men. It’s a sign of wisdom and intelligence. Now I would worry if you started finding different things in strange places. Like sand. No one likes having sand in weird places. Let’s face it, it’s uncomfortable. So take these new dark and curlies with pride and keep aging gracefully.

– Staying young in Durango,Diver

Dear Diver,

I just saw the lineup for Telluride Blues and Brews and couldn’t believe my eyes. Aftergrass, a band I’ve seen a dozen times and everywhere from Trimble Hot Springs to the Summit, is playing the main stage at T-ride. Is Durango becoming the next Austin? Do we finally have the right formula?

– Group E.

Dear Group E,

I’m sorry, but Durango will never be the next Austin. I mean, have you seen all the women in Austin? But since you are a Group E., I suppose that you are more interested in band members, and if you have already seen Aftergrass so many times, then I guess that you already know if you have a chance with at least one band at Blues and Brews. If not, there is still plenty of beer to be had.

– Have fun drinking 151, Diver

Dear Diver,

Durango, Silverton, Vallecito, Telluride, Hesperus – there are just so many choices. Where’s the best place in the Four Corners to catch the Fourth of July? Who has the best corn on the cob, tug-o-war, downtown parade, etc.? A pre-fireworks party plan would also be greatly appreciated.

– Sam’s Uncle, Durango

Dear Sam’s Uncle,

Corn on the cob, tug-o-war and downtown parade, sounds like Austin would be a good place for you to see fireworks. If you don’t feel like making that drive, then I would recommend staying close and starting your day off right – eating and drinking at El Rancho. You can get so drunk early that you can rally your own crew’s tug-o-war and grill your own corn. As for a parade, if you do make it that late into the night, then Durango will be great for you.

– Celebrating independence in D-Town, Diver