Durango do’s and don’ts Every year at this time, Snowdown organizers remind us that Durango was voted “Worst Dressed Town” by (insert your favorite magazine here). Whether this legend is true or not, the Dos and Don’ts Fashion Show became a prime opportunity to poke fun at our fashion sense (or lack thereof), but this year I suggest that turnabout is fair play. New York Fashion Week parades before us unrealistic, outrageous attire that even models have a hard time wearing (go to YouTube.com and search on “model falls down twice”). Current issues of Vogue and Glamour tout the top fashion trends for 2009 as if someone in this economy can afford haute couture. But even if we had the money, would we really want to wear this stuff? Thankfully, Durangoans are self-confident enough not to fall prey to all the hype, unless you count those god-awful enormous sunglasses. But I digress. Maybe it’s time to list some very good reasons that Durango is not — and should not be — the testing ground for 2009’s Top Five in Fab Fashion. 1. Sky-high Shoes: The YouTube clip mentioned above is case in point. If a top model can’t balance on 6-inch heels, do you expect us to be able to walk on icy sidewalks, gravel driveways or dusty trails? At least pole dancers get a metal rod to hold onto when wearing these things. Even if we embraced this trend, Durango’s plethora of orthopedic specialists would shame us into more sensible shoes anyway. 2. Fun and Far-out Fringe: Well, maybe for flappers. Even the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have toned down their use of fringe. I suspect that someone in the fringe industry is paying off fashion designers to incorporate this ornamental flair in their spring and summer collections. While it’s described as “sleek, sexy and feminine,” fringe can also be downright annoying. It also looks silly when some strands fall out, creating gaps like those in Grandpa Ernie’s smile. 3. Well-dressed Goddesses: Fashionistas tell us to go with the flow this spring — flowy dresses that is. Labeled as goddess or Grecian style, these dresses use triple the amount of fabric that most dresses would use. Surely this is against all things environmental. If we’ll be draped in that much fabric, why are we pressured to work out this time of year? Yet, you’re likely to see a lot of this style Jan. 28-Feb. 1 during “SnowDown in Da Nile.” Go ahead, dress like an Egyptian. 3. Well-dressed Goddesses: Fashionistas tell us to go with the flow this spring — flowy dresses that is. Labeled as goddess or Grecian style, these dresses use triple the amount of fabric that most dresses would use. Surely this is against all things environmental. If we’ll be draped in that much fabric, why are we pressured to work out this time of year? Yet, you’re likely to see a lot of this style Jan. 28-Feb. 1 during “SnowDown in Da Nile.” Go ahead, dress like an Egyptian. 4. The Ubiquitous Jumpsuit: Fashion writers say the jumpsuit emerged as a trend a few seasons ago and no one thought it would last. Well, duh. I think the vast majority of us know that jumpsuits are reserved for babies, skydivers and astronauts. Although I might be per suaded to wear one if it had footies. Fashionistas are warning that you should get one before they go “mainstream.” I don’t think you have to rush out this instant, though. 5. Everyday Bling: Precious stones, glass and crystals are embellishing everything from shoes and bags to pants and underwear (ouch!). Fashionising.com tells us this trend will not be limited to evening gowns, but that elegant bling will also find its way onto jackets and day dresses. With as much sun as we get in Colorado, that much reflection could cause traffic accidents. At least we all wear sunglasses. Poking fun at the over-the-top fashion industry has always been a guilty pleasure of mine, but we all fall prey to those ideals from time to time and succumb to peer pressure to stop wearing out-dated garb. Is there a trend you’d like to resurrect but are too embarrassed to say so? The great thing about Durango is that we’ve resisted someone else’s definition of style. So, wear that crocheted vest with pride. Don that puffy coat over your broom skirt. That kind of freedom is priceless — unlike those Manolo Blahnik alligator stilettos. – Mandy Mikulencak
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