Diver: Otis from the Mercy Regional Medical Center

Interesting facts:As an ER nurse, Otis is among an elite corps of divers who can pump stomachs as well as fill them.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.


What’s the deal with the current mustache infestation in Durango? Little hairy lip worms seem to be popping up all over the place. Is it a sign of the season or is the Magnum P.I. era back for good?

– Still clean

Dear Clean,

What do you mean “popping up?” Mustaches have always been a method of identifying the era one grew up in. Since the ’60s (that golden age) when men started emulating Frank Zappa instead of John Wayne, stashes have said “this is who I am.” You can tell who the owner is likely to vote for by how big a lip bumper he sports. Also facial hair is removable art, unlike the other infestation that seems to be “popping up” all over Durango, i.e. T.M.I. (too much ink) syndrome. Remember, mustaches are easily removed but you will still have that tribal tattoo on your face when you’re using your senior discount on the trolley.

– Diver


So what’s up with Iron Man (and what’s up with that name?) or any man, thinking that all women in Durango flocked to see the “Sex and the City” movie?? (Durango Telegraph, June 5) I didn’t go. I’ve never seen a single episode. Frankly, even the title sounds silly. And the most I’ve ever paid for shoes was $169 for a pair of tall Sorels, though I do own several pairs of really hot platform heels. I rarely watch TV and resent the implication that I secretly want anything those women have. Besides, the city’s got nothing on sex in rural America, especially at the higher elevations.

– Happy in a Small Town

P.S. Is “Big” his last name, or is this a reference to something else? In such case, I might be interested...

Dear Small Town Happy

I don’t know any women who went to see the flick. These women seem as wrapped tight as their clothes. True sexiness to me is a mountain woman in tight jeans and Sorels. Having one of you slide off a barstool, after skiing, and walk up to the man of your choice with “that look” in your eye is the height of seduction. I’d trade that for 15 Big City Barbies who don’t want their hair messed up, any day. As for “Mr. Big” I think the reference is to the size of car he drives. It’s the inverse-proportion rule. Big car, small ...?

– Diver

Dear Diver,

Why do tourists walk approximately 25 percent slower than locals along Main Avenue? What’s the best way to avoid the inevitable humanoid traffic jam?

– Del in Durango


Ever heard of slalom?  Remember, you don’t ski the trees, you ski the spaces between the trees.

– Diver

In this week's issue...

January 25, 2024
Bagging it

State plastic bag ban is in full effect, but enforcement varies

January 26, 2024
Paper chase

The Sneer is back – and no we’re not talking about Billy Idol’s comeback tour.

January 11, 2024
High and dry

New state climate report projects continued warming, declining streamflows