Ye Olde Follies
2008 Follies search for a sacred cow

The cast of “Wake the Dead” defies gravity during Tuesday’s Snowdown Follies MediaNight./Photo by David Halterman

by Judith Reynolds

haddaya expect? The Follies. Downhill another year. So what can I say?

Bob Ledger, our erstwhile city manager, took the most insults, followed by Renee Parsons, the train, Purgatory, Rod Barker, Realtors and Chuck Norton. Big deal. Snow and sidewalks got a few laughs.

All I want is a light-hearted evening with a little snap. Snowdown delivers Shrek, Fiona, and the Donkey (Jonathan Hunt, Sona Rodgers and Seth Talmon) telling jokes with faux Irish accents and an Eddie Murphy imitation to make your hair curl. Oh well, they’ve peppered their routine with plenty of f-word jokes. Sounds like the old Snowdown.

With its cast of thousands, the Follies features two of the funniest performers this town has seen since Jeff Deitch. Roc Simmons and Lisa Zwisler. I’d walk a block to see either on stage. Simmons, Durango’s own Steve Martin, can saunter out in sunglasses, a wig, a sloppy costume, and he’ll get a laugh. So can Zwisler.

This year Zwisler pours herself into a long Medieval dress, puts on a fright wig and sings

“Middle Age Woman.” She and her cohorts Deb Reneker and Hope Tyler revved up the audience with a tale of mood swings, hot sweats, hot flashes and underwear that sags. Simmons plays supporting roles in two numbers. “Party at the Leper Colony” is a long stretch for a show titled “Ye Olde Snowdown,” but it’s a hoot. Then after playing a

basket banging leper, ye olde Roc plays a proper butler, along with the equally goofy Don Doane, to Linda Mannix’s ever more drunken holiday celebrant. “Leftover Christmas Cheer” brought down the house, so let us give thanks for small favors.

But I drift from my topic. This is supposed to be a report, not a review of the Follies. Although the dress rehearsal earlier this week was a little rough, we got a glimpse of what the real show would be. Here’s a rundown: A chorus line dressed in red Medieval tunics, fishnet stockings and high black boots gets things started and wraps everything up two hours later. The Shrek-Fiona-Donkey trio carries half the weight of the MC load along with Lady Godiva (Suzan Lane) and her knight (Dave Imming).

Danny Jaques plays the “Devil With a Blue Dress On,” except he wears a red tuxedo and his groupies wear the blue dresses. Jeff and Devon Rea play local rednecks as they ask the women in the audience to “Show Them to Me.” All they got in response was one guy in a baseball cap and T-shirt who wandered up the aisle and showed them to everyone.

A quintet of celeb-wannabes portray Brittany,

Don D. Doane tickles the strings on Tuesday./Photo by David Halterman

A quintet of celeb-wannabes portray Brittany,

Lindsay, Paris and company to the tune of “Rehab: Just Say No, No” and manage to give us a scary picture of Hollywood scum. “Beaver Castle” provides the first real estate drama of many during the evening. One hot couple (Julie Pawelk and Dwayne Dahl) entice a cool couple (Lindsay Sherman and Brett Sherman) to rent digs with the promise that location, location, location will work wonders for their sex life.

Teresa Cross’ turn as a diva singing “Whatever happened to my part?” has nothing to do with the theme, but who cares. Cross’ over-the-top performance turned out to be a crowd pleaser followed by two sleepers. “Reverse Cinderella” features Sandra Shellnut as a woman in search of a prince who wears size 12 shoes. After three losers, she finds the perfect man with oversize feat as well as various other body parts. Assisted by the inimitable Zwisler, who could miss?

A guzzling quartet of guys closes out the first half with a merry rendition of “Wake the Dead,” an Irish drinking song. It ends on a serious note: “When the Lord comes for me and you, He’ll kill the cast of Riverdance and Michael Flatley, too.”

Lisa Govreau heads-up a Dreamgirls trio for real estate agents singing “Get Real.” This got the biggest round of applause, especially when snide remarks were made about Glacier Club and Telluride. The title seemed to be “The Day the Market Died.” Ouch. Had only more sacred cows been targeted during the evening.

The odd duck award goes to Dave Peters and Jodie Peterson who mimed “Date Night,” a spoof on a recent movie about a guy who dates a blowup doll. The diva award for the second half goes to Don Doane who delivers “The Male’s View,” a whiny guy complaining about his whiny mate. No matter what he does to please her, it’s never enough. Sound familiar?

The big ensemble piece turned on our very own president in the form of a faux press conference for “The Lyin’ King.” Jim Pritchard serves as the spokesman, the blamer and takes questions from a bunch of reporter types. Since the event is sponsored by George W’s latest educational product, “Speak and Spell Software: Is Our Children Learning,” you can anticipate some of the jokes. And there was good old Roc Simmons playing the executioner in the background – made the sketch work for me.

I’ve mentioned Linda Mannix’s star turn as a drunk and drunker celebrant, topped only by Andre Pierre-Louise’s toe-tapping send up: “A Big Black Woman Stops the Show.”

Mike Smedley and Candye Sauer bring back the good old days of the Follies with Ye Olde Snow News. They inform us that the Virgin Mary is one of the candidates for the 9-R superintendant job and that a new project, Habitat for Realtors, will ease the pain of a bursting bubble.

Speaking of pain, the 2008 Follies takes a mere two hours. Can’t wait until next year. •

Danny Jaques gets his “Ultimate Reward”in this year’s Follies performance./Photo by David Halterman