Divers: Nick, from Bubba’s

Interesting Facts: Once the Durango Telegraph’s first unemployed diver, Nick is now diving for white stuff in north La Plata County


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

With the season of cheer, eggnog and mistletoe upon us, there is one thing that consistently confounds me – Holidazzle. What is this exclusively Durango phenomenon? What is the English translation of “Holidazzle?” Why don’t they have Holidazzle in other towns? How do you get a good case of Holidazzle? Any answers would be appreciated.

– Nick, via e-mail


Calm down bro. I think you are about to catch a pretty hardcore case of “Holidazzles” while stumbling down Main Street after the company Christmas party next week. All questions should be explained, but get up with me and tell me how that goes.  

– Diver

P.S.  You got lucky, there is an old Durango legend that if you say “Holidazzle” five times fast your head will explode.      

Dear Diver,

How quickly time flies. Twelve months have passed, and I’m once again doing the impossible: shopping for my husband. Here’s the rub. The man is nearly impossible to please. He says he doesn’t want anything, but then is always disappointed when the wrapping paper comes off. What’s the perfect gift to get a little Christmas cheer back in my life.

– Holly in Durango

Holly Claus,

If you hadn’t waited the full 12 months this task wouldn’t seem quite so impossible. Stoked you answered your own question though because I have to get back to scrubbin’ out your husband’s haggard ski gear. Yep, the rub is defiantly the perfect gift. Get this dude the full-tune from your favorite dirt-bag and listen to hoots and hollers in the fresh air all winter. Financial constraints? There must be something else around the house to rub for some similar hoots and hollers?

Wax on, wax off…  

– Diver 


Dear Diver,

Can you explain this new thing called Blu-Ray? Is it a quiet government conspiracy? A giant alien plot? Please inform. Also, my real questions are: should I buy one and where can I find one cheap.  

– Slightly Paranoid in Durango

Dear SPD,

Yikes. Although completely unqualified to answer this question, I’ve done some research, and it seems Blu-Ray is a calculated marketing scheme to trick your paranoid @$$ into buying some expensive electronics. I’d play this one like snoop and stay fly and dry and not get caught up in the rain. I also  am getting some inside info on a new thing in town called a library. Do some personal investigation, but I think you can get into a library card on the cheap.

Yao Ming…

– Diver

In this week's issue...

January 25, 2024
Bagging it

State plastic bag ban is in full effect, but enforcement varies

January 26, 2024
Paper chase

The Sneer is back – and no we’re not talking about Billy Idol’s comeback tour.

January 11, 2024
High and dry

New state climate report projects continued warming, declining streamflows