Ear to the ground

“I worked the ‘license to be dumb’ thing for a while. It’ll be nice to go back to ‘license to be crazy.’”

-A Durango woman discussing her coming transformation from blonde to redhead

Durango action

Durango’s vehicular namesake earned a dubious honor this week. Somehow the Dodge Durango found its way onto the list of “the five cars ‘guaranteed’ to not get you laid.”

Writing for RideLust, a website about carnal car knowledge, Suzanne Denbow devoted months of research to compiling the list in question.

“Everyone knows no matter what car you’re driving, if you’re a stud or a total hottie, you’re going to get some action,” she wrote. “Really, what we mean is we’ve got a list of the five vehicles that may make things a bit more difficult.”

The Durango slid in at the #4 slot, and Denbow docked the SUV points for excessive size and lack of staying power. “While there’s certainly enough room, sometimes being too big hurts – like in your pocket book,” she wrote. “When you’re struggling to find the bank to pick up the bill at the end of the night, you probably won’t be getting any action anyway.”

Other cars on the dirty list included: the Chevrolet Aveo5 (“the only Kama Sutra positions you’ll be attempting will be those you’ll be trying sitting bolt upright”); the Jeep Compass (Driving this car is like wearing a big sign that says ‘Hi, I’m Pat!’); the Toyota Prius (“the price point’s too high for any real muncher of trail mix.”); and any minivan (“when you drive a minivan, it positively screams ‘parent.’”)

On the flip side, Denbow has compiled the list of “the ten cars ‘guaranteed’ to get you laid.” Not surprisingly, it’s peppered with names like Ferrari, Porsche, Bugatti and Lamborghini.

Jersey girl

A local cycling jersey created for a local cause recently got big recognition. The jersey, which was fashioned by Mercy Regional Medical Center and LUNA Chick Shonny Vanlandingham, is featured as the “Jersey of the Month” in the September issue ofBicycling magazine.

All proceeds from sales of the jerseys are being donated to Mercy Health Foundation’s $3.4 million “Yes Ma’am” capital campaign, which is funding equipment and construction of a comprehensive breast care center at Mercy Regional Medical Center.

“The fact that this jersey was chosen as one of only 12 to appear inBicycling magazine in 2008 speaks to how important this issue is to so many people,” said Vanlandingham.

Jerseys can be ordered by contacting David Bruzzese at Mercy Regional Medical Center at 764-3910. One of the jerseys is currently on display at Mountain Bike Specialists.


In this week's issue...

January 25, 2024
Bagging it

State plastic bag ban is in full effect, but enforcement varies

January 26, 2024
Paper chase

The Sneer is back – and no we’re not talking about Billy Idol’s comeback tour.

January 11, 2024
High and dry

New state climate report projects continued warming, declining streamflows