Diver:Stephanie dives in diapers at a local preschool

Interesting facts:Stephanie is the first diver whose muse communicates in poetry


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

I thought it was supposed to be off-season, but it’s still impossible to find a parking spot, restaurants are slammed on weekends and the train is pulling what looks like a dozen packed cattle cars up to Silverton. What’s going on here? Is there some secret attraction/ event I don’t know about?

-Ready for rest,


Dear Ready,

In Durango secrets come and secrets      go,

But here we find something you don’t now.

You think they would wait for falling snow,

But no, oh no.  

They come now in search of fall,

Colored leaves both big and small.

Packing the train, one and all,

Blocking parking like a wall.  

One or two more weeks shall pass,

When you think it’s pretty fast.

They will all have had a blast,

Then we’ll have quiet sure to last.

– Diver

Dear Diver,

People owe me money and just keep shining me on. They say it’s coming but the cash just never seems to show. How do I get

them to pay? Are there any heavies for hire in town? Please help, baby needs shoes, and I’m starting to get hungry.



Local heavies are not what you need

To take care of people who don’t pay up.

Why would you want to make them bleed?

When all you really have to get is a cup.  

Cups are good for all sorts of stuff

Like coffee, water, beer and tea.

But the are also great when you’ve had enough

Of shoeless babies and being hungry.  

So put out a cup to calm your woes

The cash will be in it quicker than snot.

Then you can warm your little ones toes

Without having to have anyone shot.

– Diver

Dear Diver,

My friends are trying to talk me into getting a season ski pass in Telluride this winter. I love skiing with my pals and dig the mountain at Telluride, but that town is a little too uptown, and it sure seems like a long drive to

go skiing. What do you say? Should I dive in or pray that we get enough snow to make a Hesperus pass worthwhile.

-Jonesing in Durango

Haiku for Jonesing,

Telluride is great

You needn’t go into town

Hesperus cheaper.

– Diver