Dear Diver,

I’m riding this global warming thing for all its worth. The ladies are still dressed like its summer, my golf and tennis games are better than ever, and BBQ season is still rolling on. This is great. Don’t you think?

– Mac in Hermosa

Mac Daddy,

I’ll be honest with you, I’m a big fan of the summer, but I do have a problem with global warming. Even though the world is going to hell in a hand basket in some aspects, it’s still a beautiful place to live. I like to think of myself as a pretty eco-friendly kind of guy, and as long as you keep an open mind about being green, then you can enjoy the lovely ladies in short skirts, golf and tennis in November, and BBQ all year round. All we can do is control our actions, so make every one count, swing, fling and RECYCLE…

– Yo’ short skirt lovin friend, Guru

Dear Diver,

We’re thinking about having a karaoke machine at the company Christmas party. But there’s a big blabbermouth in the office – who happens to be a total ’80s music junkie – and we’re afraid this person will dominate all of the action. How do we keep him and his Simply Red at bay? Do you have any special programming suggestions that might give us a shot at the microphone?

– Cubicle Cindy

Cubicle Girl,

Karaoke machines? Ouch, that can only mean two things: a painful, ear-wrenching, music-listening experience; or the best frickin’ party ever. Either way, you will have something to talk about after the fact. In reference to your blabber problem, I have a story to tell that may help you. When my roommates and I are listening to music, we play a game. If you don’t like what’s on, grab the remote when no one is looking and put it in your pocket. Nonchalantly turn off the stereo and then when no one knows what’s going on, they have to check the stereo. By the time they fix the stereo the song is over and has skipped to the next one. This can go on for many rounds, until someone figures it out. Well, hope this helps your blabber problem.

– Turnin off da tunes, Guru

Dear Diver,

What’s up with Purgatory saying that the weather’s no big deal and that they’re going to have a banner opening day? Is the new snowmaking capacity really that good? It must be the same stuff they’re running to that indoor ski hill in Dubai, right? Help me, wise one. Should I kick down for a Benefit Day ticket or not?

– Still in shorts and sandals

S.S.S,

As for the weather, that’s up in the air, you never know what will happen at Purg. The snow machines will be blowing strong, I’m sure, and powder will be fake but rideable. Buy a ticket for the B-Day bash, even if the shredability ain’t the best, your drinking ability can be grade A, as always, at Purg. I hear if you drink enough you can’t even tell that the snow is bad. Let’s all pray for a white Benefit Day.

– Wishin fo snow, Guru