Town meeting and the Guthrie family


by Lindsay Nelson

Hello friends. Welcome to tonight’s emergency town hall meeting, and thank you all for coming – I know “American Idol” is on right now, and it’s not something any of us like to miss. But this is truly a crisis period for our town, and we need our best people to come together and unite for the cause.

We all know why we’re here. A threat to our families, our homes, our very way of life has reared its ugly head. And we must act. The question is – how? What can we do? I’ll open the floor to suggestions.

Yes, Brad – go ahead.

“I’ve lived here for over 2 years, and I can’t stand to see the town I love, where I’ve invested nearly half a million dollars from my trust fund, fall at the hands of this enemy. I say we demand an emergency law against it. And we form a citizen task force to enforce it. I’ll volunteer to lead it. The City can buy us guns and red shirts. We’ll do the rest. Who’s with me?”

“Umm, can I say something?”

Yes, Carilynn, please go ahead.

“Thank you. I just want to say that I think it’s really important that we don’t get overzealous here in dealing with this problem. Yes, it’s a problem, and none of us wants to see it get out of hand. But I really don’t think that giving Brad and his buddies guns and authority to use them will solve anything. I say we form a committee of concerned citizens … we could call it, oh I don’t know – the Friends of the People for Right-Thinking. We can meet next week and talk about building consensus. It’s the progressive thing to do.”

“Kill them all and let God sort ’em out, is what I say!”

OK, Bill, we hear you, but we can’t do that. I think you understand why. Friends, the most difficult thing about this situation is that we don’t know exactly what we’re up against. It’s insidious and stealthy; we don’t know where the threat is going to come from next. Just look at what happened to our neighbors in the North. God rest their souls, they never knew what hit them.

Bottom line is, if we don’t get a handle on this, it will destroy us.

And so it went … the people of Durango stayed awake all night in the emergency town meeting, desperate for a solution to the phenomenon that threatens the town’s future. No one knows why the tourists stopped spending money. One day, all the hotels were vacant, and the restaurants and shops catering to out-of-towners were deserted. Yet the streets were full of crane-necked pedestrians jaywalking across green lights … only they did nothing but look at things. Never once did a wallet or purse appear, and they all seemed to be eating their own packed lunches and camping in area public lands.

This sudden change in behavior turned the residents against the visitors; without their money, these people were nothing but a nuisance. Some feared that the un-materialists would influence the youth of the town, jeopardizing the economic future of the local Taco Bell, the 25th Street Conoco and Zumiez Clothing.

What did our brave townspeople do to save their future from the cashless hordes? The first meeting of the Visitor Spending Requirement Citizen Task Force Alliance for Change is May 7 from 9 to noon, and work is under way on an emergency ordinance requiring all visitors to provide proof of income and intent to spend; all who fail to cooperate will be taken to Detox for re-education. Be vigilant – your freedom depends on it.

If Woody Guthrie was the voice of the Dust Bowl generation

and tireless advocate of worker’s rights, then son Arlo is most definitely a cultural touchstone of the boomers. There is more to his work, of course, than “Alice’s Restaurant,” but that 18-minute song and the 1969 film it inspired are both brilliantly satirical and, now, sweetly sentimental paeans to the time and the culture of the late 1960s anti-establishment crowd. I dare say there are more than a few nostalgic ex-hippies out here, and the kids who wish they were. They and others who appreciate Guthrie’s music will be delighted to attend one of two consecutive performances by the curly-haired patriarch and members of his family, Saturday and Sunday at the Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College.

The Guthrie Family Legacy Tour celebrates the music of the Guthrie family with Arlo performing along with his son Abe Guthrie, his daughter Sarah Lee Guthrie and her husband, Johnny Irion, plus multi-instrumentalist Gordon Titcomb. The Guthries will revisit the classic songs of Woody and Arlo, as well as the family’s new arrangements, as they weave their way through the generations.” Thank you, Concert Hall PR people. Couldn’t have said it better myself. You’ll want to save your egg money for this one, but it’s not everyday you get to see a real live legend.

With the kids out of school and the tourists not yet out in full force, things can get somewhat quiet around the town for about three weeks until Memorial Day. During that time, the nighttime music scene can get a bit disorganized. A few random, poorly researched suggestions follow.

For a minute there. I thought a famous funk-rocker was making a stealth appearance in town this week, but alas it is not so. Gigi Love (not G-Love) plays at Carver’s on Thursday and Saturday evenings. I’m afraid I don’t know anything about (presumably) her, but maybe someone else does? We always need some more local musicians to play out while we hoist our pints and order up some quesadilla action.

At the Summit on Wednesday is DJ Damage, spinning industrial, EBM, trance, darkwave and more. It’s probably not the same DJ Damage who’s from Australia, or the French guy, or that one dude named Brian. Who knows? There could be a dozen DJ Damages. Maybe I shouldn’t mention things about which I know nothing, but what would be the fun in that? So anyway, get all industrial and darkwave and shit with DJ Damage, whoever he is.

And now, check out what the honest, CD-buying public (and the uninfected tourists) bought last week. Out this week is the new Tori Amos, “American Doll Posse,” and Gov’t Mule releases “Live at Roseland Ballroom.” •




In this week's issue...

January 25, 2024
Bagging it

State plastic bag ban is in full effect, but enforcement varies

January 26, 2024
Paper chase

The Sneer is back – and no we’re not talking about Billy Idol’s comeback tour.

January 11, 2024
High and dry

New state climate report projects continued warming, declining streamflows