Dear Diver,    

Why has airline travel become more and more expensive and less and less convenient? As anyone who’s flown in the last couple years can tell you, it’s a real pain in the ass up in those friendly skies. There’s no customer service. They don’t care about you. It’s guaranteed that at least one of your flights will be delayed. What’s the point?

– Susan Jones, via snail mail

Susan,    

So, you too have seen the dark side of commercial human transport. I tell you, they keep cramming us in those tin foil tubes and send us hurtling at 800 mph toward our destination. And I’m no hypocrite. I’ve flown a bunch of times, so maybe my two cents might make a difference. So basically if we decide to fly, and really that’s the great freedom of this country, we can put up with the rigorous baggage boot camp line conforming airlines, or we can take another form of mobility. (Warp 9 Spock).

– Diver

Dear Diver,    

What’s that new square-shaped structure on the ridgeline overlooking town? I’ve been out of town for a few months and couldn’t believe my eyes. Are the scientologists building a local church or something? How did that project get through the local planning process?

– Ralph Estes, via e-mail

Dear Mr. Estes,    

I’m afraid that it’s just as sinister, if not more. Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about that dreaded (to most) five-lettered word that starts with “C” and ends with “O.” And no it’s not a misspelling. And just as you, my eyes did not deceive me as the walls of “progress” rose. As for the project getting through, I’m no planning expert, but I’ll pretend to be one. I say maybe the little known “black ridge project” slipped through like some counterfeit bill at an Arby’s “restaurant.”

– Diver

Dear Diver,  

What’s wrong with global warming, anyway? We didn’t retire in Durango to shovel snow, and I think a little more warmth and sunshine and shorter winters would be welcome around here. I say send the higher temps. Who’s with me?

– Joseph in Durango

Dear Joseph,    

Yea! Let’s have some more sunshine, I heard through the grapevine that we found another planet that may be suitable for human plundering. Just keep waiting, and you’ll maybe get your increase in warmth and no winters. And then, it’s ZING, BOOM, straight to OMICRONPERSEI-8!

– Diver