Diver:Markus Farkus at Durango Natural Foods

Facts: Markus is Grandma Chung’s proud right hand


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

I’m confused. There are so many people running for City Council in this year’s election, and the talk is all about “smart growth,” open space and affordable housing. Who are the best candidates and why are you voting for them? What are these people going to do for the divers of the world?

– Francie via e-mail

Dear Francie,

There are a lot of people running for City Council, and this year’s candidates seem to be very anxious to grab seats. I guess I’ll be voting for Michael Rendon. I feel he has what it takes to represent the workers out there. I’m not really sure what he’ll do for the divers out there, but I’m sure it’ll kick ass.

– Thanks, Diver

Dear Diver,

Is Durango in a technology time warp? I live a few miles north of town and have been suffering with dial-up internet service for years. So, DSL service arrives like six months ago, but it’s not even good, fast DSL. Meanwhile, the entire Hawaiian Island chain gets wireless internet access. What gives?

– Paul, Halfway to Hermosa

Dear Paul,

Durango might be in a technological time warp. At least you get dial-up service. This diver gets nothing and likes it! You should not worry so much about the speed of your connection, and start focusing on a real problem.

– Thanks, Diver

Dear Diver,

I just read that the popularity of rap and hip hop music is plummeting. Apparently, the negativity and jabs at women are too over-the-top for most people. So if hip hop is going down the tubes, why is the entire live music scene in Durango now focused on the music form? I respect the artists and the music, but how about something else on Saturday night?

– Schizzlin’ Away in Durango

Dear Schizzlin’

I’m not sure that Durango’s entire music focus is on the hippity hop, but it is overdone.  Negative jabs at women are for the haters, yo! This diver doesn’t hate, he appreciates. I almost forgot, don’t go out on Saturday nights, it makes you look desperate for fun.

– Word to your Mother, Diver

In this week's issue...

January 25, 2024
Bagging it

State plastic bag ban is in full effect, but enforcement varies

January 26, 2024
Paper chase

The Sneer is back – and no we’re not talking about Billy Idol’s comeback tour.

January 11, 2024
High and dry

New state climate report projects continued warming, declining streamflows