An early start to summer

by Ted Holteen

When I put my foot in my mouth, it’s laces and all. Not only does that entail fitting a size 13 in there, but the words that I am forced to eat are, unlike most, printed each week for the whole world to see. Fortunately, only about 137 people of the 7 billion or so worldwide will see those words in a given week, but my god, they’re a vocal group. OK, so the Avs didn’t lose in five, or six, and in fact may have even won their opening playoff series against Dallas. I’m still researching that, but I may have to soon concede it as an unfathomable truth. Make no mistake about it, however: they absolutely, positively will not win the Cup this year. They may have won this series, they may win the one after that, but no team will beat the New Jersey Devils, at least until next fall. It pains me to say that, but truth is truth, and that is my charge. So that’s my latest prediction, valid so long as something different doesn’t happen. Take it to the bank.

Although all of this high-drama NHL and NBA playoff action is keeping me anchored to my sofa as spring keeps rolling on to summer, I am forced to acknowledge that not everyone shares my lassitude toward social interaction and may even want to get out and do something. Damn go-getters. One of Durango’s great vernal traditions continues on Friday, as The Durango Gallery Association for the 20^th year puts on its Spring Gallery Walk. Even if you don’t know Karyn Gabaldon from Karen Allen (she played Boone’s girlfriend in “Animal House” and cheated on him with Donald Sutherland, the slut. Karyn is a local artist and has never been accused of promiscuity), you will enjoy yourself and maybe even gain an appreciation for just how many talented artists are in our midst year-round. It’s very user-friendly, too – each gallery features an artist or two, and they have maps to guide you to each of the 13 participating galleries and what you should look for in each. Some will have drawings to win stuff, some will have food, but don’t count on it. Plan to grab drinks and dinner before, during or after your tour. The Gallery Walk goes on from 5 to 9 p.m., but don’t feel like you have to use the whole four hours. I can’t even stay in MOMA for more than an hour myself, and they have a restaurant. It’s a great evening on the town, and brings out a better element of people than the annual slaughterhouse walk put on by area meat processors. And, as always, I remind my readers to please not steal anything.

My, my, but the Abbey Theatre is busy this weekend. The featured movie for the next couple of weeks opens on Friday afternoon and should be a gem. Sponsored by KSUT, “Heart of Gold” is a biographical portrait of the great Neil Young, and includes concert footage from his most recent tour promoting the “Prairie Wind” album. KSUT will be giving away tickets on the air for the duration of the screening (I think), and members get a buck off just for being so cool. The showings this weekend are early (4:30 & 6:45 p.m.) to make way for a couple of great shows later on Friday and Saturday nights. On Friday, the Crown City Rockers return, and this national conglomeration of DJs, MCs and musicians puts on a hell of a good show. It’s the authentic urban beat sound without any of the “somebody say ‘HO-HO’” kind of nonsense that you might find in lesser productions by hacks posing as rappers and the like. At no time will you be asked to wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care, which is nice, especially if you’re already holding a beer. Then on Saturday, Durango Acoustic Music presents the current masters of non-electric noise, the Asylum Street Spankers. Generally Austin based, this creative octet uses things like washboards, ukuleles, saws and anything else that produces sound (along with actual musical instruments) in a performance that can actually be called unique. Their roots are punk, but with numerous dye jobs over the years, it’s hard to tell at this point if the carpet ever matched the drapes in this hodgepodge of sight and sound. My good pals the Lawn Chair Kings get things going around 9:30 p.m. or so, adding to the quality of an already spectacular evening. I hope there’s no good hockey or basketball on the TV, lest I am forced into another of those ethical and life-changing decisions. Maybe I’ll pray for guidance – seems to work for some people.

I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s worth pointing out again that the staff of our Community Concert Hall at FLC is doing a fantastic job of bringing variety to its stage and to our eyes and ears. Be it acrobats, dinosaur-themed rock operas or more traditional musical performances, no one can say the fare is bland. This time (Saturday night) it’s Flamenco dancing by professionals, specifically by Yjastros, a nationally touring dance company. Their program is titled “A Nuestro Aire,” a Spanish title that adds to my overall ignorance of what they’re trying to accomplish. I bet it’s really good, though. Then next Tuesday, enjoy some kick-ass Delta blues via the slide guitar virtuosity of Lee Roy Parnell, a man who knows his way around those confusing strings and is able to make meaningful sounds from them. Show time for both Concert Hall performances this week is 7 p.m.

I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s worth pointing out again that the staff of our Community Concert Hall at FLC is doing a fantastic job of bringing variety to its stage and to our eyes and ears. Be it acrobats, dinosaur-themed rock operas or more traditional musical performances, no one can say the fare is bland. This time (Saturday night) it’s Flamenco dancing by professionals, specifically by Yjastros, a nationally touring dance company. Their program is titled “A Nuestro Aire,” a Spanish title that adds to my overall ignorance of what they’re trying to accomplish. I bet it’s really good, though. Then next Tuesday, enjoy some kick-ass Delta blues via the slide guitar virtuosity of Lee Roy Parnell, a man who knows his way around those confusing strings and is able to make meaningful sounds from them. Show time for both Concert Hall performances this week is 7 p.m.

QUICK STUFF (I’m running out of space again): Today (Thursday) is the first Ska-B-Q of the year, with music from Stellar Interlock (terrible name, great band) and food provided by Nini’s. Ska also has beer on premise.

Durango has dinner theater! I’m excited. The newly formed Durango Acting Studio debuts this weekend with its premiere production of “Parallel Lives,” a seriously comic play featuring local acting and direction. Yours truly will catch a preview and I give my own observations. Stay tuned for that next week, but don’t feel like you have to wait for it or anything – you can see it yourself on Thursday, Friday or Saturday this weekend at the Diamond Circle Theater.

The call is out for people who like cooking meat for people like me who like to eat cooked meat. The deadline to enter the Women’s Resource Center’s Men Who Grill Competition is May 12^th, and the more of you who enter means more meat for me to eat, which is significant. The actual event is June 4^th, and I’ll revisit this when it gets closer, but we need cooks now. Call 247-1242 to enter. By the way, entrants get a 20 percent discount at Sunnyside off their stock, and there is no entry fee for competitors. Get on it.

I’m still waiting for my bed. egholteen@hotmail.com. Seriously, sleeping on the floor is getting old. •