Diver: Charlie from Cuckoos!

Facts:Charlie heads up the local chapter of the Kathy Bates Fan Club.

 

Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

Diver,

I moved from Durango to Des Moines, Iowa (sigh) in July to attend grad school. Now that fall is upon us and winter just around the corner, I am concerned about how I will maintain my sanity. I don’t have the option to go skiing or take part in any of the other endless winter recreational opportunities that Durango and the San Juans have to offer. How do you recommend I pass my time?

Mike

Dear Mike,

Yeah, it’s going to be a long winter, but I’ve got a sure-fire recipe for entertainment on those long, lonely Iowa nights: box of wine, sleeve of corn nuts, “Gilmore Girls” and a bottle of soothing lotion.

– Yours, Charlie

Dear Diver,

Why do kids not pick up hitchhikers going up to campus? Many of us in fact have cars and choose not to drive to campus in a small attempt to keep parking on campus somewhat reasonable. I don’t understand why so many people complain about parking on campus yet refuse to pick up hitchhikers even in the rain.  

– Thanks, Walker

Dear Walker,

I have exercised my powers as Diver to solve your problem. I’ve made arrangements at theTelegraph to run your picture in a weekly segment entitled “Code Red: Pick up on Walker.” They’ll need a photo. Furthermore I have constructed a website, online at www.puwalker.com. Also included in this fabulous showcase… free Cuckoos for life.Your boy’s got your back, Walker.

– Good luck, Diver

Diver,

I live with two guys, and I’m a girl. Is it OK to walk around in a towel? How about a T-shirt and underwear? It’s OK to wear a bikini in the back yard, yet they’ve commented when I’m in a towel.  So what is acceotable to wear, or not to wear?  

– Curious, Katie in Durango

Dear Katie,

It all depends on what you look like in the towel, my love. Darryl Hannah was in a towel in “Roxanne.” That’s good. Kathy Bates was in a towel in “About Schmidt.” That’s better.  

– Thanks, Diver

In this week's issue...

July 21, 2022
Wildlife success or deal with the devil?

Land swap approved in Southwest Colorado, but not without detractors

July 21, 2022
Tapping out

The latest strategy to save the San Luis Valley's shrinking aquifer: paying farmers not to farm

July 14, 2022
Hey, good environmental news

Despite SCOTUS ruling, San Juan Generating Station plans to shut down