Has it been 229 years already?

by Ted Holteen

For only the second time since he was 16, Andre Agassi will spend the Fourth of July in the States. I don’t think it’s an accident, as each year the Wimbledon final falls on the weekend when the United States thumbs its collective nose at its mums across the pond. Armed with nothing other than a wayward scrap from the rubbish bin on Downing Street to curb our prodigal ways, the Brits can take small solace in the fact that for a few hours anyway, strawberries and cream supplants burgers and dogs as the celebratory fare of choice. But it never lasts, as by Sunday afternoon the action shifts from the foot-worn lawns of Centre Court to the back yards of suburbia, the Union Jack a mere dishrag in the shadow of the mighty Stars & Stripes.

But, as always, I’m getting ahead of myself. With the 4th falling on a Monday, it makes for a bona fide holiday weekend this year, and local entertainment is hot and heavy beginning Friday night. Your choices are many, so I’ll do this alphabetically by venue in the interest of fairness, as many of my music industry friends are in bloody competition for audience share, and I must maintain some sense of objectivity so I can continue to dodge cover charges. It’s a great night for a good, ol’ fashioned pub crawl. Beginning at the Abbey Theatre, it’s red-hot progressive Latin funkrock (that’s what it says!) with Agua Dulce. Latin dance nights are always a hit in this town, and Latinos were among the first people to both subjugate and be subjugated on the new continent, so there’s even a patriotic reason to attend. Next, head up to East Second Avenue to the Durango Arts Center for kick-ass bluegrass courtesy of Broke Mountain. It’s one of your only chances to catch the local pickers before Pagosa on Labor Day weekend, as they’ve been blessed with a full tour schedule all summer. This show actually starts at 8 p.m. with openers Benny Galloway and Greg Ryder, so you may have to rearrange this alpha schedule to fit it all in. Your decision. Across the street at Steamworks, The Lawn Chair Kings will toast Uncle Sam a few days before his birthday by singing punk/country protest songs and shooting fireworks into the crowd. The Kings are great musical satirists of American pop culture – not in the Weird Al Yankovic way; more like Mojo Nixon meets Graham Parsons. Confused, yet? Good. Just keep buying beers and smile. Finally (only because this paragraph is getting really long), complete the loop and catch the late-night sets of Freewill Recovery at the Summit. About 100 lucky, and by this time probably very drunken, people in the audience will receive a free CD sampler of the band’s upcoming full length release “Better off This Way” just for stumbling in the door and paying the $3 cover.

The crew at the Summit will barely have time to hose off the dance floor before it fills again on Saturday night. Aftergrass is a band that will forever have a place on these pages, stating “this is no jam band, but a complex collection of musicians interested in many forms of music.” The egomaniac in me likes to think that it was my admonishment in previous issues that led to the rewriting of the band’s bio liner notes. Either way, they’re the only ones getting any pub from me on Saturday or Sunday for that matter, as I will spend the weekend watching tennis and inviting myself to cookouts.

And that brings us to Monday. While most of the world may wish that the fetus fathered by Mssrs. Jefferson, Adams and Franklin had been aborted in 1776, it would be nearly 200 years until Roe v. Wade. So the birthday celebration goes on for the 229th time, and Durango is stepping it up this year. At 10 a.m. in the morning, Fort Lewis College will present “American Voices: A Public Reading,” a free outing in Buckley Park featuring public readings of The Declaration of Independence (just like on 7/4/76), and a portion of the Great Binding Law of the Iroquois Nations from the 1500s, which offered a different take on land use for the North American continent. Speakers will include FLC students and professors, including a couple of my favorites – Reece Kelly and Michele Malach. Two more disparate educators you may never find, but variety being the spice and all, you’d be hard pressed to find better in their fields. Actually, Reece is retired and gets to write “Emeritus” when signing his letters. Chicks dig that sort of thing. There are speakers from every walk of life, and even our own Trudeau of the Telegraph, Shan Wells, will weigh in on what America means to him. Please attend so as to provide a buffer zone between Shan and the love-it-or-leave-it crowd throwing rocks at him.

In addition to the annual fireworks show put on by the city, which I must say really is very good, this year’s festivities include a downtown street party beginning at 6 p.m. and continuing until the skyrockets around 9:15. Kudos to Bob Kunkel on his continuing success at livening up the downtown area. This street party thing will include a beer garden, so please enjoy it but don’t make Bob look stupid for trusting you people with such civic responsibility as dignified public drunkenness. And while you’re watching the fireworks, tune into KDUR 91.9 or 93.9 for a musical accompaniment of the show. Seriously, it makes it better.

Last week I promised a review of the Melodrama season, but I forgot to go again, and so I’ll tell you about another hidden treasure just a half hour from town that will make your whole summer. Perhaps you’ve seen the strange adobe-looking thing between Mancos and Mesa Verde that says “Reptile Reserve” on the wall. What that is, is the Reptile Reserve, and there are alligators, big turtles, lizards and about a thousand rattlesnakes wandering and slithering around just out of eyesight from the highway. The man, Jeff Thulin, stands down with the rattlesnakes and taunts them for your amusement and a five dollar admission fee. I’m not crazy or kidding about this, so take an afternoon or Saturday (he’s closed on Sundays) and check it out. You won’t be sorry. I’ll work on the Melodrama again for next week.

Tennis, anyone? I’m serious, I like to play tennis. egholteen@hotmail.com. “I’m so bored with the U-S-A!” (Joe Strummer, not Ted Holteen) •