A call for peace, Electric Boogaloo, & boys and grills
By Ted Holteen

To all the girls I've loved before you can't come. As predicted in this space a week ago, it was in fact a riotous scene on Tuesday at the Concert Hall as about 150 people were shut out from the Red-headed Stranger's show on May 10 after waiting in line since daybreak. It was ugly. Bruce Hornsby lasted a day or two, but both instances illustrate the paradoxical puzzle of bringing big-name talent to a town with a population that could fill most urban arenas. I'm writing this in defense of the staff at the Concert Hall who really had a tough day on Tuesday, as they were in the impossible position of having 2,100 tickets to sell to about 5,000 people. There's no market to maintain a building capable of holding a metropolitan-sized crowd, and on the occasions when an act comes that could fill such a place, it is an unfortunate truth that literally thousands can be shut out. What Durango does offer for the fortunate few is the chance to see these performers in venues that those in a larger cities would never get. It's only one of many trade-offs that we make to live in this little slice of paradise. So try to be understanding. Hey, we don't have a Bennigan's either, but some of us think that's a good thing.

But May 10 is only one night, after all, and the good folks at the Concert Hall have to fill a schedule for the rest of the year, too. They done real good on Sunday - this should be very cool. (It's disgraceful that Microsoft Word thinks that sentence is grammatically correct.) It's "Break! The Urban Funk Spectacular," and I for one am excited. Can Willie Nelson do the robot? Can he pop or spin on his head? This should be a show in the truest sense, as it traces the origins of hip-hop dancing for the last 30 years from Grandmaster Flash to Usher (If they play Usher, I'm leaving.) I'm envisioning an acrobatic performance of break-dancing with MCs and DJs and jumpsuits and leather pants - wow. And in the spirit of keepin' it real, the cast is made up of some of the finest urban artists from the streets of New York, so they should fit right in here in Hip-Hop Nation. It's a late matinee, Sunday afternoon at 4 p.m., and tickets are a very reasonable 12 bucks.

A couple of weeks ago, you may remember that I wrote this: The Abbey Theatre has live hip-hop (on Friday night) from Denver in the form of The Break Mechanics, and for once I actually took the time to find something out about them. Don't expect me to make a habit of it or anything, but I'm glad I did this time. They've recorded with artists as diverse as Ani DiFranco and KRS-1, so someone must think they're legit. And they sounded cool on the website and it looks like they know what they're doing. Add to that the sound and lighting capabilities of the Abbey, and it should be quite entertaining.

I was very upset to see absolutely no one show up for the show, despite my plaudits; then I remembered that the band cancelled on the day we go to press. Such is life in a big city newsroom, but we all get a second chance as The Break Mechanics have rescheduled for this Friday at 10:30 p.m. Tickets from the April 8 show will be honored at the door.

This next item is more than a month away, but I'm not hurting for material - it's a registration issue, and it does no good to write about events that no one can participate in anyway. Although I do tend to do just that from time to time if only to rub it in. The Women's Resource Center will once again shamelessly exploit unsuspecting and innocent men to further its own purposes on June 4 for the annual Men Who Grill competition. Why am I telling you this now? Well, because only 25 grill teams of four can compete, and it's first come, first served as far as signing up goes. Ask those aforementioned Willie fans what that means. The intersection of 12th & Main will be inundated with barbecues and butch men in aprons attempting to prove that diamonds got nothin' on short ribs when it comes to being a girl's best friend. And across the street in Buckley Park, the 28th annual Fun in the Sun Arts & Crafts Fair will be going on. Quite a scene. Some have even called it "zany." To the wonderful ladies at the WRC, please consider this my application to be a judge at this prestigious event. To the rest of you, registration info is a phone call away at 247-1242.

If I had a nickel for every word I've written about KSUT or KDUR since undertaking this assignment, I'd have about as much money as they have. Which is kind of why I write about them all the time. Anyhow, it's KDUR again this week, and this time they're not even begging for money - just free labor. Yes, it's that time again, when every Joe six-pack or Harry punch-clock can get their own radio show just for the asking. Next Wednesday, KDUR will hold a meeting in the College Union Building where you can fill out an application saying why your radio show would be so boss, and you just might get it. You won't get paid, but it's fun and a great way to piss off maybe 25 people at any given time. Call them for more info - Liggett gave me the wrong date and didn't even say what time. If you do get a show, do me a favor and blow off your first shift.

Report ticket scalpers to me. ted@ksut.org. Did you know that Starbursts make Beez sweat?