Diver,

A letter from the right. War sucks, yes, but sometimes (and I use that term loosely) necessary. The draft sucks, yes, but many countries still have a draft. Don't you think it's a great way to build a sense of pride and nationalism into otherwise lazy teen-age Americans?

- Jim, via email

Jim,

Intriguing question, indeed. I had hoped to start with something light hearted, begging for belittlement ... but alas, a pertinent question that ought to be taken seriously. This seems to be a topic of heated conversation as of late, with most whining/opposition coming from the Left. So, I appreciate a letter from the Right. I want to answer you carefully, just as you posed the question. "Don't (I) think it's a great way to build a sense of pride and nationalism into otherwise lazy teen-age Americans?" No, I do not. I believe that "pride and nationalism" being shoved down the throats of teen-agers will only cause a gag reflex. However, I do believe a nation's army should be a people's army. So while I am viciously against a draft, I think mandatory service in some form is not unreasonable, and should be instituted.

- Hypocritical as ever, (truly the American way),
Diver

Dear Diver,

I have a friend who recently divorced. He used to be a nice guy, but now he's bitter as hell and frankly, not a nice person to be around. He constantly berates me for being married and says things like "we'll talk in 10 years." When he's drunk, look out. He's cursing his ex one minute, then crying in his beer the next. Should I cut off all ties with him, because he's become a pathetic buzzkill.

- Thanks, Tom

Tom,

Sever all ties with this person. Immediately. There is plenty of gross negativity and cynicism out there, believe me. In fact, one cannot help but be inundated by it wherever they go. If you can successfully read a newspaper, flip through a magazine or watch the news without becoming enraged, you are a better man than I. Or, perhaps, you are one of the tens of millions blissfully unaware of your surroundings and comfortably sedated by horrible music, mindless television and blinking lights. But I digress.

I imagine (hope) you have given your chum plenty of sound advice, served as a shoulder to cry on and empathetic ear, put up with his constant self-loathing, etc, etc. You have tried as any friend would, now give it up. When he reconciles some of his own shortcomings as a failed husband, he will come around as an apologetic friend. Groveling.

- Sickened, Diver