What does it say about a
man's character (not to mention his hygiene) if he never makes his
bed and always has dishes piled in his kitchen sink?
Not His Mother
Dear Not his
These activities or lack
thereof imply this guy is a free spirit, a nonconformist. This guy
looks the world in the eye and says, "You don't know me, I can do
what I want." As far as hygiene goes, I am sure he knows a splash
of Old Spice a day keeps the shower away.
- Sincerely, The Diver
My co-workers suck. All
they do is bug me, ask me dumb questions and constantly interrupt
me when I am doing things. They are rude as hell, and I can't take
it anymore. What do you suggest I do before I go completely
Start by watching the
movie "Office Space," make sure you have some paper nearby to take
notes that may help you. Second, hire a feng shui consultant to
help you decorate your cube in a more peaceful, relaxing way. This
could make all those questions and interruptions seem trivial.
Lastly, take all your guns and ammo and toss them into the middle
of a deep lake.
- The Diver
Is the punk music played on MTV legitimate? I thought punk, back in the day,
embodied a “Do It Yourself” ethic and spoke out against oppression,
the government and other issues important to free thinkers. Now if I watch
those lame punk bands on MTV, all they do is sing about girls and high school.
- Jessie, via e-mail
First off, is there such a thing as legitimate punk? These people are punks,
there’s nothing legitimate about them. Most music you find on MTV is
gonna suck - that’s just a fact. As far as speaking out on oppression,
the only oppression these “punks” have come across is getting
ticketed for loitering in Circle K parking lots. “Faults of the government” whatever,
those bands were around during the Reagan days. Remember, back when everything
- The Diver
Diver: Shane Larson, from Cuckoos
Divemaster Bryant Liggett
thought honeymooning was more important than work this week, giving
us an encore Diver from Cuckoo's
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
or by fax at 259-0448.
ATM machines have been
around for about 10 years now. So why the hell does it still take
some people (I'll call them morons) forever to get their money?
It's a matter of inserting a card and pressing about three buttons.
Is technology really just too much for most humans?
Elizabeth, Hermosa, via e-mail
Yes, these people are
morons, taking minutes on end to get their money. Don't take me no
time, you know I'm gonna git mine! I git paid, take care of my
binnis. As far as inserting something and pressing some buttons,
you know I am gonna make a fast withdrawal. These people need to
listen to more gangsta rap, then they may learn the importance of
promptly receiving their money from anything or any one. I'm out
- The Diver