Dear Diver,

Why the hell aren’t any of the college students I know capable of simple projects? I own a business and work with many students, and these kids will nod at me and say “yes” to an assignment, swear they understand what the hell I’m talking about, and then do exactly what I don’t want them to do. Are they stoned? Stupid? Both?




They are just like any other kid – you have to use reverse psychology on them. Next time try explaining a simple project in a very complex way and see if that doesn’t get the results you want.

– Thanks,



Why can’t drivers navigate any of the intersections along Third Ave.? I know Third and Florida is a tricky intersection, but what about Third and 12th, or Third and Eighth where there are stop signs? I don’t get it!

– Brian,

via e-mail


I’ve been wondering for the entire 12 years that I’ve lived here why Durango drivers are so bad. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the radiation from Smelter Mountain that makes the brain function abnormally.

– Thanks, Diver

(Editors’ note: In line with the film “Groundhog Day,” this question mysteriously reappeared in this week’s “Ask the Diver.”)


Is Groundhog Day a true and legitimate way of predicting the weather?

-Curious, Phil


We have many questionable ways of predicting the future, such as tarot cards, palm readers, tea leaves, astrology, Gallup polls, why not groundhogs as well?

– Yours truly, Diver



Diver: Kurt from the Aspen Cafe

Facts: Another Diver/Owner from the North, fueling the fire that is the War of Mountain Divers vs. Town Divers.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

Many of the letters sent into this column reflect my life. My dealings with stupid people, tipping, bad service, bad drivers, crazy in-laws and all of that stuff reflects what I deal with every day. I had no idea my life was so problem plagued. What can I do to improve my life?

– Paula, via e-mail


Try moving to Shangri-La, which, according to the Denver Post, is Silverton. I’m sure that you’ll never again have to deal with anyone that makes you crazy there. Yeah right...they have just as many problems as anyone else, so instead of getting handled, BE A HANDLER!!

– Good luck, Diver






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