Dear Diver,
Someone egged my car recently. What’s the best way to
get egg off the car without damaging the paint job? Also, how
can I gain revenge when I don’t know who did this?
B.L,
Durango
Dear B.L.,
I suggest covering the rest of your car with egg, then claim
it’s the newest craze. Not only will you be avoiding cleaning
your car, but whoever vandalized your ride to begin with will
be red with jealousy. Score.
– Thanks,
Diver
Dear Diver and/or Divers,
I know there is a crew of you “Divers”
out there, and I’m wondering if you ever get together
for some form of “Diver” forum. Like, do you discuss
the letters you receive, trade advice tips, consult with one
another and things of that nature, or is a Diver get-together
an excuse to party? Fill me in.
– J.B,
Durango
Dear J.B.,
We actually do have a forum. However, we call it a Diver “session”
`85 it’s VERY enlightening.
– Thanks for writing,
Diver
Dear Diver,
A recent near-death experience has led me to start thinking
about higher powers, supreme beings, the lord and all that stuff.
What do you think? Are you a Christian?
Selma,
Durango via e-mail
Dear Selma,
Take it from someone who has near-death experiences all of the
time, there ARE higher powers. Bagels are shaped like halos
- coincidence? I think not.
– Keep Praying,
Diver
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| Diver:
Bob Berding, of Durango Bagel
Interesting Facts: Worked for
years in the kitchen at the Betty Ford Clinic and would
sneak airplane minis to famous patients like Ozzy Osbourne,
Liza Minelli and Robert Downey Jr.
|
|
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the
master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Dear Diver,
Thanks for putting a little humor into my otherwise dull
life. Because I am unemployed, broke and elderly, I don’t
get out much. Well, anyway, how can the town of Durango
thank the Telegraph and team of Divers for the
irreverent humor brought forth by this column on a weekly
basis?
– Margeret,
Hermosa
Dear Margaret,
Putting a smile on an elderly woman’s face in Hermosa
is all I need. But if you still feel obligated, something
like a life-sized statue of myself (set in gold of course)
would suffice.
– Keep reading,
Diver
Dear Diver,
What is wrong with Michael Jackson? Is he insane?
– Elizabeth,
Durango via E-mail
Elizabeth,
If you call freakishly manipulating your physical appearance
and building a theme park in your back yard crazy, then yes,
maybe Michael is a little eccentric. But we must not forget
the joy we feel when the Jackson Five rings out of the stereo.
“A-B-C, 1-2-3.” Keep rocking!
Yours,
Diver
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