Ear to the ground:

“AARP is like the herp. Once you get it, you never get rid of it.”
– One friend preparing another for the onslaught of mail once he hits 55


Battle of the bulge

Looking for a way to sweat out those Snowdown toxins or maybe just give the old liver a break? On Sat., Jan. 30, the Winter Warrior 10k returns to the Durango Nordic Center, offering a much-needed respite from the grueling pace of outhouse stuffing and cat fashion.

Now in its sixth year, the race is customarily done on showshoes, although race director Steve Ilg says “ALL forms of snow traction devices welcome!” (Well, maybe not all forms. We take that to mean all human-powered forms. Leave the snowmos at home.) There will also be a 5k, kids race, prizes and, lest you be inconvenienced to switch out of your Snowdown garb, an ’80s costume competition.

“Snowshoes take people places – within and without,” said Ilg of the sport, adding that with the aging of Baby Boomers, it is the fastest growing winter sport in the country. He went on to wax eloquently about the unsung winter sport that, ironically enough, requires no wax.

“Snowshoes are waaaay more versatile in our neck of the woods than skis – either Nordic or alpine,” Ilg said. “And way safer and produce better fitness. You do know that without snowshoeing no other winter sport would be in existence, right? It saved our civilization... .”

While we’re not sure about that, it just might save your sanity during a beer-soaked weekend, so get your Spandex-clad (either for reals or ironically) butt up there.

This year’s race kicks off at 9 a.m. and benefits the Durango Nordic Ski Team. Volunteers are still needed. To register or for more info, go to www.winterwarrior10k.com or contact Ilg at steve@WholisticFitness.com or 818-590-2922.


A cold stair

And speaking of Snowdown debauchery – because who isn’t? – the Telegraph is sorry to report our first foray into Snowdown eventdom has had the kibosh put on it.

Our extreme stair sliding event, slated for Sat., Jan. 31, has our landlord, who – despite being a fan and heckuva guy – worried about getting his ass sued. Can’t say we blame him, or his ass.

Truth be told, we did kinda, sorta ask permission and figured it would be a few of us standing around drunk on a Saturday night doing our best Gerald Ford imitations. Unfortunately, it seems people are really into this Snowdown thing – who knew? – and we could not escape the glare of folks clamoring for more information about this new and exciting drinking sport. (Which, as far as we know, has its roots in 1994 Steamboat, along with a similar game of skill and mastery, potato gun shooting.)

Although the risks have lessened greatly with the rise of the modern puffy coat, rug burns, debilitating wedgies and yes, we suppose head injuries, are still a very real threat.

Thanks for understanding and stay tuned for next year’s street curling.