Zionist grannies take on Shan
To the editor,
I was shocked when I saw the Shan Wells cartoon uncovering the unsavory fact that Sen. Corey Gardner was on the evil Zionist payroll. I knew it was true because Shan said so, and he is never wrong, even though he had no actual facts to back it up. It was right there in his cartoon caption, “Who Sen. Corey Gardner REALLY works for (it ain’t you)” with Bibi Netanyahu leading him on a dog leash.
I had to get to the bottom of this outrageous Israeli act. So I called my friend in Israel. They said they would call back as they were very busy oppressing Palestinians. When they finally called back, I told them what Shan had uncovered. They were very upset and were going to call their grandmother. You see, she and her three 95-year-old girlfriends were thought to just sit around the table playing Mahjong, but many knew that these old Jewish ladies really controlled world affairs. The true Elders of Zion!
They couldn’t believe how smart Shan was to find out Gardner was being paid off by the Israelis. They figured Shan, being the human rights watchdog that he is, would be more upset that Obama/Kerry were negotiating with the most oppressive regime in the world today, the Islamic Republic of Iran. You know, the country that hangs homosexuals from street lights; stones women to death for adultery; has cartoon competitions mocking the Holocaust (interested Shan?), calling Jews vermin; and beats down in the streets any form of protest against the Ayatollahs.
But thanks to Shan Wells, the Elder Zion grandmas realized their mistake in making payments to Gardner when the checks were supposed to go to the
Kardashians and their reality show. You see by using the Kardashian family, it was an evil Zionist plot to dumb down America, which has been working magnificently. Those zany Zionists!
So Shan, the Zionist grannies are so grateful for you uncovering their mistake about Gardner on the payroll that they want to reward you by sending you some money. But there is one problem Mr. Wells, will you take Israeli Shekels?
– Have a great day, Shelly Perlmutter, Durango
The Great American Meatout 3/20
To the editor,
After a month of persistent and crippling snowstorms, I do look forward to spring weather, green grass and flowers in bloom.
The advent of spring is also a great opportunity to turn over a new leaf on our dietary habits. In fact, hundreds of communities welcome spring on March 20 with an observance of the Great American Meatout. Visitors are asked to go vegan, at least for the day, and to explore a healthy diet of vegetables, fresh fruits, legumes and grains.
This year’s 30th anniversary celebration of Meatout is particularly significant because of the massive shift in America’s eating habits.
“Meatless Monday” has been making huge advances in public schools, universities, institutional cafeterias and restaurants. The 2015 Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee is recommending reduced meat consumption. Stock market analysts are warning clients about the potential “death of meat.”
Almost 50 percent of the respondents in a special GlobalMeatNews poll said they had actively reduced their meat consumption. Accordingly, per capita U.S. meat consumption has dropped by more than 10 percent since 2005.
Each of us can celebrate our own advent of spring on March 20 by checking out vegan foods in our local supermarket and vegan recipes on the internet.
– Diego Horvath, Durango
A small price for health, happiness
To the editor,
Residents should vote in favor of extending the half-cent recreation sales tax until 2039 because the City has used the money from this sales tax wisely and efficiently, and the revenues generated by the extension will allow the City to satisfy the community’s strong desire for a healthy community.
After the voters approved the half-cent sales tax in 1999, the City used the money to build the Recreation Center, to extend and improve the Animas River Trail and to protect greenways along the river. Having this revenue source allowed the City to use other money to improve other trails and recreational facilities and for playgrounds and playing fields, all of which promote the healthy lifestyle that helps make Durango such a special place to live and in which to raise a family. The half-cent tax helped build the foundation that earned the City the prestigious National Gold Medal Award for Excellence in 2012 from the National Recreation and Park Association.
What will the money be used for? While the 1999 sales tax money was limited to building the Recreation Center and improving the Animas River Trail and greenway, the monies raised for the extension will authorize the City to expand and link trails, sidewalks and bike lanes; improve recreation facilities, including the Recreation Center, Mason Center, Lake Nighthorse and Chapman Hill; protect river habitat; improve river access; and enhance parks, playgrounds and playing fields; and protect and expand our community forest.
One third of the money will be used for maintenance of existing and new trails, recreational facilities, parks and playgrounds. Why should we extend this tax?
It is estimated that the extension of the recreation sales tax would generate approximately $125 million over 20 years. The Parks, Open Space, Trails and Recreation Master Plan that was adopted in 2010 with massive input from citizens identified more than $219 million in future projects desired by the community. These projects include upgrades to the Animas River Trail and SMART 160 Trail as well as improvements to the Mason Center, Chapman Hill, our parks and playgrounds and playing fields, and Animas River access points and river habitat. In addition, development of new parks, playing fields and facilities, and pedestrian and bicycle connectivity projects will be needed in the future.
A dedicated funding source means more grant opportunities by providing the required matching funds. The City of Durango has been awarded more than $2.3 million in grants to leverage the revenues from the existing sales tax for construction of the Animas River Trail.
The residents of Durango contribute one-third of the total revenue generated by this sales tax, with another third coming from the La Plata County residents and a third from out-of-town visitors. This is a 200 percent return on our investment!
Recreation and connectivity are an economic driver for the community. This plays out in many ways including visitors for sports tournaments, retail sales of equipment, safe and healthy programs for children of working parents, enhanced connectivity to enable people to walk and bike to their destinations without using their vehicles, and healthier, happier employees who bolster our customer service-oriented economy.
Please vote YES on 1-A to keep Durango healthy! Look for your ballot in the mail around March 23. Need more information? Visit facebook.com/KeepDurangoHealthy and durangogov.org/halfcent.
– Citizens to Keep Durango Healthy, Sandy Burke, Bill Zimsky, Richard Speegle, Frank Viehmann, Melissa Youssef, Ellen Stein, Matt Bradley, Rich Hoelein and AnneMarie Greenberg