Mister Cockcroft reflects on your questions this week.

Diver: Wally Cockcroft, second-generation tile setter extraordinaire
Interesting facts: It is estimated that between 50-80 percent of Earth’s biological life forms live in the ocean.
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Dear Diver,
Why is it that dogs in this town are heavily policed, requiring leashes at all times and hauled off to jail for no good reason other than they aren’t tethered to a human, yet cats are allowed to roam freely, pooping in gardens, snooping in garages and walking all over clean cars without a care in the world? It seems like a great inequity in the animal kingdom. Shouldn’t all domesticated pets be treated the same? Why is there not more canine justice?
– Man’s Best Friend My Ass

Dear Man’s Best Friend My Ass,
You are not alone. I myself am of the canine persuasion and prefer the cold end of a snout to the purring of a feline. It just so happens, the Univ. of Washington has taken the task of getting down to the business of care-free cats. It seems as if felines are not domesticated at all, and furthermore, have tamed themselves. Due primarily to the fact that we humans have rewarded them for their hunting prowess and need to kill the bane of human existence, rats and mice. So one could surmise that while the relationship between feline and human is based upon the eradication of a species, human and canine was borne out of common respect and mutual companionship. Now that is some canine justice.
– In dogs we trust, The Diver

Dear Diver,
What is the etiquette for thank you notes for children’s birthday parties? I feel like if you shell out a lot of money and time for your kid’s party, then it is not necessary to have to write thank you cards for gifts as well. A simple “thank you” in person during the party should suffice. Just seems like manners overkill. Plus, if someone writes you a thank you, do you have to thank you card them back? Where does the politeness end?
– Missed Manners

Dear Manners,
Seeing as at the time of this answering, my diver self has no offspring to speak of, I can only answer to the experience of being a child at his own and others’ birthday parties. While I may be rounding the bend and subject to some memory lapse, some of the freshest are birthday parties. If I remember correctly, birthday parties are founded upon an ancient pact of understanding that even the most thoughtful of philosophers could not find ground for debate. I invite you to my birthday party, you bring me a gift, and you get cake and ice cream. If cake and ice cream is not thank you enough, I shouldn’t have invited you to my party!
– Sincerely, Diver

Dear Diver,
What has happened to people’s handwriting skills in the advent of texting, emailing and facebooking? It seems like it has devolved into nothing more than illegible chicken scratch. I heard they don’t really even spend time on cursive in school anymore – but they are learning to type in kindergarten. A crying shame. Are we destined to revert to prehistoric cavemen, scribbling cryptic nonsense on cave walls? What is this world coming to?
– Writing on the Wall

Dear Wall Writing,
Ahhhh the days of rulers on the wrist for improper cursive and the romanticism of a well hand-written letter. Where have the times gone? I too marvel in bafflement of technologically talented but practically impaired youth! Have they seen a quill pen and parchment paper? Have they heard of morse code? It does indeed seem that something is on the wall when it deals with the future generations of humanity. If all they leave behind is as beautiful as what lies in Chauvet Pon-De Arc in France, we may not be all that doomed ... just yet.