Why in the world have they brought back tank tops for men? What are they thinking? Who wants to see bushy armpit hair? Gross. Please tell me this is only a brief and ill-thought-out trend that will die a swift and painful death.
– Tanks for Nuthin

Tanks for askin,
I honestly have not noticed this trend, but I say, “be grateful the people even have shirts on.” Bro, its getting hot out and for the sweatier people, a tank top is a perfect choice, also what do you have against arm-pit hair? Isn’t Durango the town that won worst fashion sense? What do you expect? They think flannel works with everything and socks and Chacos are cool. I agree, there is a time and place for every outfit, but the casual tank top is a happy medium between disgusting sweat stains and shirt-less beer bellies. Would you rather feast your eyes on one of those scenes? Tanks but no tanks my friend.
– Diver

Dear Diver,
My wife has recently taken an interest in birds. First it was a bird feeder; then two; then a bird bath; and then a “Birds of Colorado” reference book by the kitchen window. The other day, I came home to a full on-bird trampoline hanging from a tree in the back yard. What’s next, binoculars? Should I be worried? Is it time for a bird intervention?
–  Tweety

Bird is the Word,
Woah, sounds like someone is out of the loop when it comes to the magic of our flying friends. It appears your wife has discovered a fantastic new hobby and owl suggest you get on board. There is nothing fowl when it comes to a minor bird addiction. I know bird watching is associated with nerdy old people who sit in rocking chairs with binoculars and weird wooden whistles, but I’m telling you it is a rising fad these days. I suggest you get out into the early morning air and take a walk in the woods, listen to the birds sing. Did you know each individual bird sings its own renditions of its species’ songs! And some species have more than a hundred different songs! Birds are awesome. Get with the program.
– Diver

Dear Diver,|
Why do none of my friends want to hang out with me? I am in my mid-thirties – in my prime – and lately when I ask them to go to the bars or all-day paddle or long mountain bike ride, they say they’re “busy” or they have to be at “work” in the morning. WTF? Since when did Durangoans get so responsible? Next thing you know, they’ll be walking their dog on a leash and picking up the poop.
– Geesh

Dear Lost Boy,
It seems your friends are growing up and becoming “adults” with “jobs.” Lame. I suggest you get new friends. I know we all want to be slacker Durangotangs, drinking beer on the beach and wandering the strip between Moes and the Ranch for countless hours of the night, but maybe the times are a changing. It seems you can either start hanging out with a younger crowd (I hear high-school kids have a lot of free time and school is almost out for summer, so there will be a bounty of them), or maybe you’ll just need to do more of these activities on your own.
– Diver

In a sticky situation?