Dear Diver,
My wife and I have a lawn-care disagreement.  She is total anti-Round-Up or any sort of weed killer, while I think it’s fine to use a little every now and then - especially if it frees up some time on the weekend for something other than pulling weeds. Not to mention the savings in lower back pain. Is it Ok to sneak out when she’s not home to spray a little on without her knowing? I can’t help but feel like I’m being unfaithful.
– Lawn Boy

Dear Weed Hater,
Although I am quite unfamiliar with any type of lawn care, much to my husband’s dismay, I would say ABSOLUTELY spray those f-ers! You did not come this far in life to be wasting weekend time pulling weeds. That’s what people did in the ’30s before God invented Round-Up! We have evolved my friend, and now is the time to embrace the little bit of free time you have before you’re dead. And honestly, there’s probably an app for that!– Diver

Dear Diver,
Please help clear up some confusion I have over the “Hawk” pedestrian crossing by Backcountry Experience, on Camino. I use it often when I am commuting on my bike. Technically, bikes are supposed to walk through crosswalks, but I feel like when I get off my bike to walk, it just pisses off motorist even more because it takes more time. So I ride, which technically is breaking the law and may be interpreted as another biker disobeying the rules of the road. What is the proper crossing etiquette?
– Hawk Eye

Dear Hawk Eye,
Ride like the wind! People in this town are grouchy about driving in the first place. So the hate has already risen when they see you joyously commuting by the two-wheeled vehicle that they so covet! Yes, we all know you should walk your bike through a crosswalk (hence the word “walk”) but the motorists staring at you don’t care about rules or you for that matter, they simply want you to be out of their way as fast as possible so that they can move on down the road to more waiting in the construction zone. It will be even more fun come July when all of Texas is here to enjoy our beautiful orange cone scenery!  Ride on, lucky!
– Diver

Dear Diver,
A friend of mine, I’ll call him “Happy Hour Bill,” seems to be perpetually unemployed. He’s a nice guy, but a bit of a slacker. Well, I need some work done around my house, and Bill has availed himself to do the work. Needless to say, I really want to help him, but we’ve been down this road before, and can already see the trainwreck coming. He swears he’s changed, but I have my doubts. How can I let him down without hurting his pride?
– Homewrecker

Dear Homewrecker,
We must come together and stop this madness. As a business owner, I’ve found that many people in Durango are “Happy Hour Bills,”  “Detox Dans,”  “La Plata Ramada Roxannes” or “Court Date Cathys” and “DUI Dons.” These people have perpetual excuses as to why they can’t get to work on time or at all and it needs to end. We simply need to stop feeling sorry for them and let them face the music on their own. Why should your house suffer because a guy has a crummy work ethic! Hire a professional and get the job done fast and well.
– Diver

In a sticky situation?