Dating in Durango

Too many women, or too many Peter Pans?

by Luke Mehall

There was a problem at a speed-dating event at the Durango Discovery Museum last month, one many mountain towns rarely suffer from at social gatherings: there were too many women.         

The event was organized by Durango Dates, a new dating service aimed strictly at Durango residents. Dan Lowery, founder of Durango Dates, got the idea after a “Geeky Speed Dating” event at last year’s Snowdown.

“It was so packed I couldn’t even get in,” he said. “That was a shame because I had a great costume, and even a note from my mother about what to look for in a woman.”

But a seed was planted. “The one thing that struck me was that most of the people who were at this event were over 30 years old,” Lowery remembered. “It seemed obvious there was a big demand for this in Durango.”

The big question already is: will they be able to make it rain men? And if so, will they be wearing Peter Pan outfits? Several women who were interviewed for this article complained about the so-called Peter Pan syndrome: that many men in their thirties and early forties were perfectly happy being single. Some complained that men in Durango were only interested in sporting activities and lacked an intellectual side. On the flip side, several of the male interviewees who did want to be in a relationship were using match.com, or simply did not have the nerve to go up to a woman and ask her out. So, clearly there’s a middle ground waiting to be tapped.

“I’ve heard it implied that many of the men in this town prefer their single ways because engaging in a long-term relationship might interfere with the time they spend with their dog,” Lowery quipped. “But I’m not buying into that.”

Natalie Gagnon was one of the women who attended the speed-dating event at the Discovery Museum in January. Gagnon is a single mother who doesn’t drink and was interested in a venue to meet other singles. “I’ve tried online dating, but there’s not a lot of options. I’d never done speed dating before and was excited to try it out,” she said. “I did not take a seat right away, and by the time I did, I think the guys were tired of talking and I was tired of waiting.”

Gagnon did note she would try it again if there were a more even ratio of men to women. She also shared an optimistic attitude. “I have a lot of divorced friends who are now in wonderful new partnerships and marriages, so I know it can happen.”

Lowery is working at creating a more balanced platform for the speed dating events. “I’ve got a big enough database from our website that we’re going to do future speed-dating events by invitation. That way we’ll ensure a better ratio.”

At the last event, participants were given a printed form of suggested topics, with four and a half minutes to speak to each person. At future events, Lowery hopes to incorporate a humorous card game and to take feedback from the inaugural event.

Ilan Paltrow was one of the men who attended the January event. On paper he doesn’t seem to be suffering from the Peter Pan syndrome; he’s hoping to meet someone to settle down with. “It’s difficult to meet people. I find there are many young women in town, and many divorced forty-somethings,” he said. “And the 30-year-old-plus crowd seems to be perpetually dating. Since I would like to have a family of my own at some point, it’s tough to meet women between those parameters.”

Paltrow found the speed-dating event to be fun. “I wouldn’t advise for anyone to take it too seriously, but it’s a good way to interact with people and see if there is a spark for friendship or dating.”

Ashley Hein, the events manager for the Discovery Museum, said it was a perfect event to host, “The chemistry aspect is right up our alley,” she said. Plans for a second event are in the works.

 “The biggest challenge to hosting these events is getting the right mix of people in an environment where they are comfortable,” Lowery said. “Once they loosen up and allow themselves to be seen, then perhaps there is a chance they will allow someone into their heart.”

To learn more, go to www.durangodates.com.