Overheard on the Capitol steps
Dear Editor:
U.S. Republican Representative Onthefence: “So the Food Stamp Bill we passed today would allow states to require food stamp recipients to submit to a drug test.”
U.S. Republican Representative Tiptoe: “Yep. By the way, don’t you admire how we cleverly removed SNAP, the food stamp program, from the inclusive, protective auspices of the Farm bill? They’re on their own, these pesky poor people.”
Onthefence: “Wouldn’t drug testing be punishing and humiliating for them? Wouldn’t that violate their civil rights?”
Tiptoe: “Relax. There’s plenty of historical precedent for punishing and humiliating poor people. And protection of civil rights only applies to NRA members. Haven’t you read the Second Amendment? Everyone else needs to quit whining.”
Onthefence: “But what about allowing states to require people to get a job before receiving food stamps? Jobs are scarce these days. What do they eat until they find a job?”
Tiptoe: “Twinkies!”
Onthefence: “But they’ve discontinued making Twinkies!”
Tiptoe: “Look. They’re all obese anyway. They could do to shed a few pounds. If they can’t find a job, these people lack gumption. To get food stamps they need gumption. I got a job, why can’t they? Politicians reek gumption!”
Onthefence: “But what about all the people who have minimum wage jobs and still can’t feed their family?”
Tiptoe: “Then let ’em create an agricultural 4
corporation! Then they can get all the federal welfare (oops, I mean farm subsidies) they need. Plus crop insurance.”
Onthefence: “So they would get crop insurance even though they can’t afford health insurance?”
Tiptoe: “So you’re still going on and on about those 30 million belly achers who can’t afford health insurance without Obama, their momma, bailing them out? Look. We need crop insurance. We have to protect our strawberries. The wife makes a dynamite shortcake.”
Onthefence: “But what about all the hungry children?”
Tiptoe: “They like strawberries too, don’t they?”
Onthefence: “Well, actually, my kids are allergic to strawberries. But thanks to Congress members’ state-of-the-art health insurance, we’ll be fine.”
Tiptoe: “See? Everything works out for the best. Onthefence, you worry too much.”
– Mary Benson, Durango
Creating overdue flatwater access
To the editor,
Oxbow Park and Preserve was a great acquisition by the City. Forty-plus acres are now protected from development and in the public domain, making possible a large natural area in the preserve portion, much needed park and river access in the park portion, and parking and amenity possibilities in the also acquired 3 acres of Sherman property between the railroad tracks and Animas View Drive. This is a great asset, not only for north-end neighborhoods, but for all Durango river and park advocates.
The topography creates a natural separation of the large preserve (35+ acres), the park and beach area – where most human activity will take place – and the parking zone along the road where development already exists. River access will be possible with a minimal footprint on the riverfront. The small area of riverbank where access is feasible sorely needs cleaning up. Old construction debris, rusty cars and other riprap litters the river, and the eroding bank needs stabilization. Well-designed rockwork and landscaping, with directed river access points, can fortify and beautify this section.
With river trail pedestrian access, vehicle parking and boat ramp ingress (no ramp exists at our other two put-ins), Oxbow will provide a wonderful means for the public to delight in the quiet water section of the Animas, while helping to ease peak-day pressure at the 33rd and 29th street launch points. With no other legal access upstream, and no other flat water beach areas for residents, Oxbow offers our best and only opportunity, long overdue, for the public to enjoy this section of our river.
So thanks to the City and hard-working board members who have shepherded this process from the Animas River Management Plan, to the property purchases, to the design and management planning now under way. It has been an open and inclusive operation bringing many stakeholders to the table- not always fun, not always pretty, but sure to be rewarding when we have a beautiful new park, preserve, and river access that we can all be proud of. I look forward to a fantastic design at the Oxbow!
Interested folks (that should be everyone!) can make their voices heard at the Oxbow Management Planning meeting on Sept, 30, 5:30 p.m., at the Rec Center. Public comments will be welcomed.
– Andy Corra, Durango
Huge hotel will harm E. 3rd Ave.
To the editor,
In a recent Durango Herald, there were remarks by local architects regarding what buildings, new and old, in town were pleasing to our eyes. Had there been more thought into the eyesore, the 1970’s baby-blue West Building, on East 2nd Avenue, our current city planners would have not allowed that mass of concrete ugliness. Yet, the four-storied West Building covers a small width of the block, whereas the 185 rooms in two hotels, four to six stories high, with a restaurant, which will cover the entire 1.3 acres across from Gazpacho’s, was recently passed 4-1 by the town’s Design Board.
The residents now on the 15 blocks of East Third Avenue are treated like minorities without much say as to height restrictions on the East 2nd commercial blocks. Unlike poor minorities, we are regarded, as mentioned on the front page of the Herald last month, as the not-in-my-backyard types.
That article, in my opinion clearly identified the East Third Avenue residents as the rich who are due their “fall.” As a 20-year resident on East 3rd, the first 10 years I worked three jobs to pay my mortgage, feed my children, etc. There are plenty of neighbors on this stretch who have worked as hard and have shown their appreciation by keeping up their yards and home restoration.
If this massive project goes through all the city hoops, which will set a new height precedent to 70 feet high, most of the lovely Victorians will be rented out because the back yards will be privacy nightmares. The few rentals now on East Third Avenue in general do not have nice yards and need fixing up.
The six stories of “rise” on East Second Avenue will be the “fall” on East Third Avenue.
Please, everyone, including downtown merchants and town leaders, do anything you can to not let 15 blocks of history go down the path as just one more bad decision that could impact our unique place forever.
– Sally Florence, Durango