Ear to the ground:

"Just tell them they're 'consequences.'"
– Parental advice on how to deal with the double entendre use of "crabs" in this week's "Ask the Diver" column

 

To Russia with love
The 2014 Winter Olympics may only be a few months away, but Durango skiers going for the gold have a long road ahead.
As if training to compete against the world's elite wasn't enough to worry about, the expense of all that racing, traveling and training adds up to as much as $25,000 per year, per athlete.


As such, three Durango natives, Olympic hopefuls Nordic skier Tad Elliott, and biathlete-twin sisters Lanny Barnes and Tracy Barnes, are seeking a little hometown boost. This Fri., Nov. 8, Durango Nordic and the Durango Winter Sports Foundation will host “On the Road to Sochi,” a pre-season rally and fundraiser for the skiers, from 5:30 - 7:30 p.m. The event takes place in the Peaks Room at the Recreation Center and will include complimentary drinks and hors d’oeuvres, a silent auction and an opportunity to meet these homegrown Olympic hopefuls.
All three athletes have expressed their gratitude for longstanding community support and are hopeful that Durango can turn out again and help get them closer to Sochi.


“The support I have received from the Durango community and the Durango Winter Sports Foundation has been incredible,” said Elliott, a product of Durango Nordic. “Durango remains my favorite place to live, and I’m happy that it’s still my hometown. If I can qualify for the Olympics, I will be stoked. But right now, I’m taking it one step at a time and trying to focus on my training and the next race.”  
For more information or to make a donation, visit www.rmnnordicangel.causevox.com or Mike Elliott, 769-8655.

 
"Hold me."
Holidays got you down? Well, if you're in the neighborhood of Madison, Wis., any time soon, you may be in luck. Madison is vying to be the second city in the nation (New York was first with the "Snuggery") to open so-called house of snuggle. Patrons looking for a cuddle, snuggle or canoodle (also known as "touch therapy") can pay $60 an hour for the opportunity to nuzzle comely professional snugglers at the proposed Snuggle House.
 
Originally set to open last month, however, the Snuggle House has yet to open its doors, or loving arms, to the public. Seems city officials have cold feet, worried that snuggling could lead to heavy petting.

"If they're snuggling with somebody who gets aroused and wants more, what do they have in place to deal with that? Because that's going to happen, there's no doubt about it," Madison Assistant City Attorney Jennifer Zilavy told the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. "We need to know they've thought through protocols in that situation.

Snuggle House owner Matthew Hurtado, however, compared the security at his business to that of Alcatraz, pointing to a manual that's more than 100 pages long. Furthermore, clients will be prescreened and instructed about boundaries, and he said staff members received hours of training about how to react to possible scenarios. There will also be eight security cameras in the 1,200-square-foot space.
 
One prospective professional cuddler named "Lonnie" told Wisconsin's Channel 3000 that when he heard a snuggling business was coming to Madison, he thought to himself, "'Man, that is such a good idea.' Whether they admit to it or not, every human being needs love."
No word on whether snuggies will also be doled out at the Snuggle House.